Everybody is able to define success in their own eyes, maybe it's owning a nice house, having a happy marriage or
earning a large sum of money. However, very few people seem to be able to achieve the level of success that they
desire. Some claim that there a physical barriers to that success and whilst this may be true if say a paraplegic person
wanted to swim around the world, for most of us there is no real physical barrier, we are just making excuses. Today I am
here to tell you about excuses and how they are detrimental to your dreams of success!
Whenever you try to do something that is hard it is a natural response for your mind to start crafting an excuse to get out
of it. Many times your mind finds its new excuse powerful enough to actually prevent you from doing whatever you were attempting.
You then back down from the challenge and feel annoyed that you "wussed out". To succeed, you must learn to essentially
shut off the excuse creating part of your brain or at least completely ignore what it is saying. For example, you try
to quit smoking and your brain sends you messages saying "you'd feel so much better if you had just one ciggarette."
If you fall into your own trap then you will likely smoke again and continue on a path of worsening health. However,
if you reply to your brain with "a ciggarette may make me feel better now, but it will hurt me down the track" then you
will be able to fight the temptation by thinking of the long term effects which are usually more significant than
the short term ones. Basically, what I am getting at is that you need a "counter-excuse" to fight any excuse that your brain
may try and come up with. When you first start this may seem hard, but keep trying to create these "counter-excuses"
because once you have the ability to create them you will find it ten times easier to achieve your goals and progress towards
the level of success you desire. Virtually nobody has the ability to shut off the part of their brain that creates
excuses but everybody can create "counter-excuses" - it just takes a bit of practice.
So you can improve your "counter-excuse" technique, here are some excuses that you should attempt to counter :
1) "I won't do my homework because it's a waste of time"
2) "I won't start my diet today because I'm going out with friends tonight"
3) "I won't take part in that marathon because it will wear me out"
4) "I won't invest that extra money I earnt because I will probably loose it on the investment"
The counter excuses I came up for the above are :
1) "That homework may be boring but it will expand my knowledge and help me in my exams so I can acheive a better result"
2) "If I put off my diet today then I will probably put it off tomorrow and never get around to doing it. I am determined
to start now!"
3) "I am going to take part in the marathon because it will be good for my health and I will be able to say "I completed
it" thus rasing my self-esteem."
4) "I'm going to invest that money because if I don't it will just get spent on a new television or computer. If I
invest I have the chance to create more money and if I loose it then I will have learnt important lessons about risk taking
and investment.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
How To Have Your Final Smoke Today - Forever
Take it from someone who has learnt how to stop smoking after 17 years; you have to make the decision to have your final smoke.
I wrote in a previous article about the necessity to get your mind right first when considering how to stop smoking. It is like anything in life, if you go at this uncommitted you will fail. It took me three months, maybe even longer to have my final smoke. When I first sat down and asked myself the 'how do I stop smoking?' question, I set in motion a thought process that led me to smoke free living.
Every single time I had a cigarette, I would be thinking about stopping. I would think about every single reason I should stop, no matter how trivial, and I would repeat each reason to myself over and over again. Think about someone you have seen have a cigarette for the first time. What happens? They cough and splutter violently, of course much to the amusement of those around them but the point is this is not a natural thing for the body to be doing.
I realized I had forced my mind and body into this filthy habit and I could get myself out of it too. Now, I am not talking about going at it cold turkey, what I am saying is the answer to 'how do I stop smoking?' is in the grey matter between your ears. If you use a quit smoking product, whether a patch, gum or pill, you are expecting the product to do the work for you. This is why many quit smoking products, even one like Final Smoke, fail people.
Pre-quitting before you have your final smoke
The key is not to make a big deal of it. Just set a date, sooner rather than later, and stick to this date. Avoid making it a Monday, if possible, as this is usually a bad day for everyone. The less significant you can make this date, the easier it may be.
Many people fail to quit because they use their irritability as a crutch and in a lot of cases they annoy the people around them so much that eventually someone might say something like, “I will go buy a pack for you if you just stop such a pain”. Let your friends and family know you are making a 'do or die' attempt to quit so they know how to help you to stop smoking.
There are no easy answers to the 'how to stop smoking?' question but knowing ahead of time what can be expected will help tremendously. Remember this, there are many other people around the world who have beaten this unnecessary addiction and gone on to live happier and healthier lives.
You can do it! And once you have achieved your goal to stop smoking you'll be staggered at how incredible you will feel. You'll be proud of your accomplishment and be an inspiration to other smokers who want to know how to quit for good.
About The Author:
Find your answer to the 'how to stop smoking' question, make your decision to live a healthier life and then find out more about how Final Smoke can help you kick the habit today - forever! at http://www.finalsmoketoday.com/
I wrote in a previous article about the necessity to get your mind right first when considering how to stop smoking. It is like anything in life, if you go at this uncommitted you will fail. It took me three months, maybe even longer to have my final smoke. When I first sat down and asked myself the 'how do I stop smoking?' question, I set in motion a thought process that led me to smoke free living.
Every single time I had a cigarette, I would be thinking about stopping. I would think about every single reason I should stop, no matter how trivial, and I would repeat each reason to myself over and over again. Think about someone you have seen have a cigarette for the first time. What happens? They cough and splutter violently, of course much to the amusement of those around them but the point is this is not a natural thing for the body to be doing.
I realized I had forced my mind and body into this filthy habit and I could get myself out of it too. Now, I am not talking about going at it cold turkey, what I am saying is the answer to 'how do I stop smoking?' is in the grey matter between your ears. If you use a quit smoking product, whether a patch, gum or pill, you are expecting the product to do the work for you. This is why many quit smoking products, even one like Final Smoke, fail people.
Pre-quitting before you have your final smoke
The key is not to make a big deal of it. Just set a date, sooner rather than later, and stick to this date. Avoid making it a Monday, if possible, as this is usually a bad day for everyone. The less significant you can make this date, the easier it may be.
Many people fail to quit because they use their irritability as a crutch and in a lot of cases they annoy the people around them so much that eventually someone might say something like, “I will go buy a pack for you if you just stop such a pain”. Let your friends and family know you are making a 'do or die' attempt to quit so they know how to help you to stop smoking.
There are no easy answers to the 'how to stop smoking?' question but knowing ahead of time what can be expected will help tremendously. Remember this, there are many other people around the world who have beaten this unnecessary addiction and gone on to live happier and healthier lives.
You can do it! And once you have achieved your goal to stop smoking you'll be staggered at how incredible you will feel. You'll be proud of your accomplishment and be an inspiration to other smokers who want to know how to quit for good.
About The Author:
Find your answer to the 'how to stop smoking' question, make your decision to live a healthier life and then find out more about how Final Smoke can help you kick the habit today - forever! at http://www.finalsmoketoday.com/
Dealing With Criticism And Difference In Opinion
Why this is important
We often become emotionally disturbed during a disagreement, or an argument, or when someone criticizes us or disagrees with us. In such cases our personality usually feels hurt, demeaned and in danger.
When we feel this way, we destroy our own happiness, clarity and health and often behave in ways which we later regret.
A simple technique for gaining clarity is to:
1. Remember that concerning criticism, there are two possibilities:
a. The other person might be correct in his or her observations and criticism. In this case we would benefit by admitting it and making the proper adjustment in our behavior. We have everything to gain by listening and evolving through others’ comments.
What prevents us is the belief that we are not lovable if we are not perfect. Thus, we do not want to see or admit our faults. When we realize that we are worthy of love and respect even when we are not perfect or right, then we will be able to look at our faults.
b. The other person might be wrong. In this case, it is his or her projection, and we need not be affected by these misconceptions or projections. We have in this case the lesson of loving ourselves and also the others even when they perceive us in distorted and negative ways.
2. One solution would be simply not to react one way or the other at first, but to reflect upon what has been said for some time so as to evaluate whether or not it is true.
We can establish a space in our minds where we can store such questions about our personality structure or actions so as to observe objectively for ourselves if they are true. If they are not, then we simply continue on in the way we were.
We need not feel hurt, angry, defend ourselves, prove ourselves, or attack. When we feel inner security and self-worth, we do not need to react in these ways.
3. We can simply thank the other for this feedback and tell him or her that we will think about this observation and will gradually come to our conclusions, and if necessary, make changes.
We do not need to live our lives in accordance with others’ perceptions. We can listen to all, but follow ourselves.
Note:
A "thank you" is enough.
(Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy)
About The Author:
Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony. Download wonderful ebooks, 100's of free articles, courses, and mp3 audio lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. Find 8 of his books at http://www.Amazon.com
We often become emotionally disturbed during a disagreement, or an argument, or when someone criticizes us or disagrees with us. In such cases our personality usually feels hurt, demeaned and in danger.
When we feel this way, we destroy our own happiness, clarity and health and often behave in ways which we later regret.
A simple technique for gaining clarity is to:
1. Remember that concerning criticism, there are two possibilities:
a. The other person might be correct in his or her observations and criticism. In this case we would benefit by admitting it and making the proper adjustment in our behavior. We have everything to gain by listening and evolving through others’ comments.
What prevents us is the belief that we are not lovable if we are not perfect. Thus, we do not want to see or admit our faults. When we realize that we are worthy of love and respect even when we are not perfect or right, then we will be able to look at our faults.
b. The other person might be wrong. In this case, it is his or her projection, and we need not be affected by these misconceptions or projections. We have in this case the lesson of loving ourselves and also the others even when they perceive us in distorted and negative ways.
2. One solution would be simply not to react one way or the other at first, but to reflect upon what has been said for some time so as to evaluate whether or not it is true.
We can establish a space in our minds where we can store such questions about our personality structure or actions so as to observe objectively for ourselves if they are true. If they are not, then we simply continue on in the way we were.
We need not feel hurt, angry, defend ourselves, prove ourselves, or attack. When we feel inner security and self-worth, we do not need to react in these ways.
3. We can simply thank the other for this feedback and tell him or her that we will think about this observation and will gradually come to our conclusions, and if necessary, make changes.
We do not need to live our lives in accordance with others’ perceptions. We can listen to all, but follow ourselves.
Note:
A "thank you" is enough.
(Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy)
About The Author:
Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony. Download wonderful ebooks, 100's of free articles, courses, and mp3 audio lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. Find 8 of his books at http://www.Amazon.com
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Anger Management Techniques - How To Control Your Anger
Gain Control Of Your Anger Now With These Steps:
1. Breathe deep and long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you're angry you're panicking. This will help you to calm down.
2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you're doing your deep breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have a soothing effect.
3. Do some stretches. When you're angry your body gets tense and rigid. The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you clear your thoughts.
4. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and why. Don't be nice, reasonable or rational. The point is to get your anger out on the paper, to purge it from your mind. Keep writing until you feel some relief or release, and don't stop until you do. For more help with this type of exercise, check out this book.
5. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate about your life, your self and (if you can) the person you are mad at. For help with this, check out Dr. DeFoore's newsletter GOODFINDING, or his GOODFINDING CD.
6. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were gone?
7. If you know how, pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.
8. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their shoes. Look at the situation from their viewpoint. How do you look to them? Is that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act as if you were that already.
9. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying "It's okay. I'm here. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good kid. I love you just like you are. I'm not going to leave you." Then take the child (your child self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or even play. Learn about the Nurturing Your Inner Child CD or download.
10. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the world to you. Who are the most important people in the world to you? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? Decide that you are that person and you are living by your values, and act as if it were so. This is the fastest way to change your emotions, and it puts you in touch with your true nature, the way you were designed to be.
Remember, inside, you are a good person who wants to help. Think, act and make decisions from that good person that you are, and you can't go wrong!
1. Breathe deep and long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you're angry you're panicking. This will help you to calm down.
2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you're doing your deep breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have a soothing effect.
3. Do some stretches. When you're angry your body gets tense and rigid. The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you clear your thoughts.
4. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and why. Don't be nice, reasonable or rational. The point is to get your anger out on the paper, to purge it from your mind. Keep writing until you feel some relief or release, and don't stop until you do. For more help with this type of exercise, check out this book.
5. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate about your life, your self and (if you can) the person you are mad at. For help with this, check out Dr. DeFoore's newsletter GOODFINDING, or his GOODFINDING CD.
6. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were gone?
7. If you know how, pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.
8. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their shoes. Look at the situation from their viewpoint. How do you look to them? Is that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act as if you were that already.
9. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying "It's okay. I'm here. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good kid. I love you just like you are. I'm not going to leave you." Then take the child (your child self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or even play. Learn about the Nurturing Your Inner Child CD or download.
10. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the world to you. Who are the most important people in the world to you? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? Decide that you are that person and you are living by your values, and act as if it were so. This is the fastest way to change your emotions, and it puts you in touch with your true nature, the way you were designed to be.
Remember, inside, you are a good person who wants to help. Think, act and make decisions from that good person that you are, and you can't go wrong!
Public Speaking Anxiety - 4 Ways To Beat It
Calls for "Speech, Speech" can send many men and women into panic and fear. Others may be given an assignment to present information before a group and feel overwhelmed by public speaking anxiety in the run up to the presentation.
The 4 key suggestions here will do much alleviate the problem and assist anyone to control and overcome public speaking anxiety:
1. Thorough Preparation
The biggest antidote to audience fear? Thorough preparation! There is no short-cut.
If you have carefully researched your material so you are convinced it is worth delivering, and you firmly believe your audience needs to hear it, and you have practiced and practiced the delivery, you can stand up in front of an audience with confidence!
2. Breathing
Control nervousness by taking deep breaths to relax the body. Concentrate on your message and the things you have prepared to present to your audience rather than on your nervousness.
Use positive speech, even in your own thoughts. Instead of saying to yourself, "Boy, do I feel nervous", which only reinforces the feeling, say, "My adrenaline is pumping and I'm going to use it to deliver an unforgettable presentation!"
3. Confidence Visualized
To increase confidence and combat uncertainty use visualization techniques. These can be VERY effective.
Running through the whole presentation including the approach to the speaker's stand, the initial pause, the first few sentences, over and over again in your mind, will create great confidence.
4. End Result Visualization
Include the end result in your visualization exercise.
See yourself having successfully concluded an excellent presentation with the applause of the audience in your ears. See the smiles, hear the compliments afterwards and make them real in your mind.
In a TV interview, Mohammed Ali once explained how he prepared for a fight. He would concentrate his mind on imagining actually being there in the ring, in the stadium, at the venue. He would see himself there at the end of the fight, victorious.
He created a very real scene in his mind with the smells, feelings, sounds, sights, he expected to experience at that moment. He used the phrase 'Future History' to describe what he created in his mind.
Why not create a 'Future History' for yourself before your next presentation and see how it triggers the necessary energy to overcome any feelings of self-doubt.
It may be unrealistic for some individuals to think they will conquer public speaking anxiety completely. Perhaps some public speakers with many years experience can walk in front of an audience without any nervousness at all.
For the majority however, who may only be called on occasionally to speak before a group or an audience, there will always be some anxiety. A realistic expectation regarding public speaking anxiety and following the suggestions above can however do much to control it so it does not overwhelm the speaker.
Michael A. Jones has compiled an inexpensive coaching manual complete with Analysis Questionnaire:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-coaching-manual.htm
Michael has also personally benefited from this Public Speaking Course ranked No. 1:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-course.htm
For personal development listen to "The Program Of Presidents":
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/personal-development.html
The 4 key suggestions here will do much alleviate the problem and assist anyone to control and overcome public speaking anxiety:
1. Thorough Preparation
The biggest antidote to audience fear? Thorough preparation! There is no short-cut.
If you have carefully researched your material so you are convinced it is worth delivering, and you firmly believe your audience needs to hear it, and you have practiced and practiced the delivery, you can stand up in front of an audience with confidence!
2. Breathing
Control nervousness by taking deep breaths to relax the body. Concentrate on your message and the things you have prepared to present to your audience rather than on your nervousness.
Use positive speech, even in your own thoughts. Instead of saying to yourself, "Boy, do I feel nervous", which only reinforces the feeling, say, "My adrenaline is pumping and I'm going to use it to deliver an unforgettable presentation!"
3. Confidence Visualized
To increase confidence and combat uncertainty use visualization techniques. These can be VERY effective.
Running through the whole presentation including the approach to the speaker's stand, the initial pause, the first few sentences, over and over again in your mind, will create great confidence.
4. End Result Visualization
Include the end result in your visualization exercise.
See yourself having successfully concluded an excellent presentation with the applause of the audience in your ears. See the smiles, hear the compliments afterwards and make them real in your mind.
In a TV interview, Mohammed Ali once explained how he prepared for a fight. He would concentrate his mind on imagining actually being there in the ring, in the stadium, at the venue. He would see himself there at the end of the fight, victorious.
He created a very real scene in his mind with the smells, feelings, sounds, sights, he expected to experience at that moment. He used the phrase 'Future History' to describe what he created in his mind.
Why not create a 'Future History' for yourself before your next presentation and see how it triggers the necessary energy to overcome any feelings of self-doubt.
It may be unrealistic for some individuals to think they will conquer public speaking anxiety completely. Perhaps some public speakers with many years experience can walk in front of an audience without any nervousness at all.
For the majority however, who may only be called on occasionally to speak before a group or an audience, there will always be some anxiety. A realistic expectation regarding public speaking anxiety and following the suggestions above can however do much to control it so it does not overwhelm the speaker.
Michael A. Jones has compiled an inexpensive coaching manual complete with Analysis Questionnaire:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-coaching-manual.htm
Michael has also personally benefited from this Public Speaking Course ranked No. 1:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-course.htm
For personal development listen to "The Program Of Presidents":
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/personal-development.html
How To Eliminate Stress From Your Life
What is it? Stress is tension. When you are stressed, your body tenses up, you are less relaxed, you are more irritable, more critical, less creative, less productive, more overwhelmed, and your over-all lowered state of health. Mental, emotional and physical health.
It is the single thing that is extraordinarily simple to change, but plays all the difference in your life. Most people have a unique set of causes for stress, but from my experience living in a high-stress environment, there are certain things that I've found to be most helpful.
In no particular order, here are some of the best ways to get rid of stress:
1. Physical Activity (No less than 30 minutes moderate or 15 minutes intense)
- The more stressed you are, the more active you should be every day
2. Listen to some high-energy music (for me, party music and metal work the best)
3. Listen to some relaxing sounds (slow music or natural sounds like wind or waves)
4. Take up a hobby (anything you enjoy doing, hopefully constructive)
5. Have a goal to work toward
- Direction in your life helps you clear up most turmoil and handle anything that comes your way with greater ease
- Anything you encounter is either for or against your efforts toward that goal
6. Spend time with like-minded people
- When you are with people who you trust, who understand you and are willing to listen, you are more likely to talk to them and open up. Talking is a natural mechanism that relieves stress. For some reason, talking about your problems makes it easier to deal with them.
- Being in the company of friends will make you more likely to be in a good vibe with them. Social vibing is another human mechanism that causes people to feel good. Having fun and laughing always make you feel better. When you feel good, all your stresses go away.
7. Express creativity as much as possible
- Some examples: painting, writing, designing, sculpting, problem solving, building, models
8. Self-Improvement
- Develop a new skill. Learn to do something new. Find out how to do something better. Your improved value and ability, and most importantly your sense of accomplishment will make you feel good. When you feel good, your stresses seem to go away.
9. Help Others
- Giving is actually a selfish thing. When you donate to someone else, you are doing it because you feel good when you do. Therefore, you give so that you would feel good. This is the only time when you will hear me say that you should be as selfish as you like.
- Some of the ways you can help others: solving problems, fixing stuff, teaching, public service, become a firefighter, start a charity, organize a service group to address your community's issues and needs, cheer up lonely people, put something interesting into someone else's life, tutor or mentor someone for free, and the very best way to help others is by supporting my website! For ideas of how you can help, check out the contributions page of RarelyPublished.com
10. Get Laid
(this one should be self-explanatory, but since they don't teach you this in school, do some research online and buy a dating ebook. For guys, make sure you check out David Deangelo's "Double Your Dating". For ladies, if you need help here, then you're probably a b*tch or out of shape. Exercise and friendlier behavior may help and if you need style tips, find the prettiest dressed woman you know, and invite her to go clothes-shopping with you.)
11. Do some cleaning
- When you're cleaning, first of all, you're improving your life quality. Next, and actually, more importantly, it is symbolic of getting your life straightened out. Why exactly it works, I don't know. It just does.
12. Start something
- Not only will the result of your labors give you pride, but it will be adding value to the earth as a whole, even if a small bit, its still more value than there was before you started. Just think, you are the one adding value to the world. You did it. It's your accomplishment. You did it!
13. Change of Attitude
- Everyone could use a positive outlook on life, one where you recognize the opportunities and make the best out of anything that doesn't go as planned. It's not living in a fantasy world. It's just making the best of what you've got. Always. It's not an activity you do for once or twice a day. It's all in how you look at life. If this is something you're interested in and want more details on, send me an email (contact info on website).
- Don't whine or complain at all. Ever. COMPLAINING IS A GIANT CRAP MAGNET, AND CRAP DOESN'T TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. CRAP TRAVELS AT THE SPEED OF CRAP, AND THAT'S REALLY REALLY SLOW!! This is just a simple change you can do to make your frame of mind work for the better. That means doing something about your problems rather than whining about them.
- Remember the old saying "Coulda, shoulda, woulda..."? Well, if that's what you say, that's what you'll keep saying about yourself. Change you're frame of mind by not using those words in your vocabulary. Never regret the past. Learn from it and move forward. Replace the words "could", "would", and "should" (life happened to me attitude) with "can" and "will" (I control my life attitude). So next time you catch yourself using any of the three regret words, stop, and rephrase yourself with a can-do frame of mind.
14. Relax
- Un-tense your muscles (imagine all of them loosening from head to toe, one area at a time)
- Let go. There will always be more where that came from. Clinging on to something always makes you tense. Unless your life is directly at stake, attachment will probably increase your stress. This is fixed by letting go.
- Don't try to control anything but yourself
- Treat your "Chicken-Little-OMFG-The-Sky-Is-Falling Syndrome" (aka an exaggerated sense of danger/importance in areas outside of true life-or-death situations)
- Clear your mind
- Feel good (smile!)
About the Author:
Author of Explode Your Memory - A Total Manual to Memory Mastery, Duke Xenner runs a website devoted to personal development & life improvement. Be sure to check out his website for more cool resources: www.RarelyPublished.com - Personal Development & Life Improvement Portal
It is the single thing that is extraordinarily simple to change, but plays all the difference in your life. Most people have a unique set of causes for stress, but from my experience living in a high-stress environment, there are certain things that I've found to be most helpful.
In no particular order, here are some of the best ways to get rid of stress:
1. Physical Activity (No less than 30 minutes moderate or 15 minutes intense)
- The more stressed you are, the more active you should be every day
2. Listen to some high-energy music (for me, party music and metal work the best)
3. Listen to some relaxing sounds (slow music or natural sounds like wind or waves)
4. Take up a hobby (anything you enjoy doing, hopefully constructive)
5. Have a goal to work toward
- Direction in your life helps you clear up most turmoil and handle anything that comes your way with greater ease
- Anything you encounter is either for or against your efforts toward that goal
6. Spend time with like-minded people
- When you are with people who you trust, who understand you and are willing to listen, you are more likely to talk to them and open up. Talking is a natural mechanism that relieves stress. For some reason, talking about your problems makes it easier to deal with them.
- Being in the company of friends will make you more likely to be in a good vibe with them. Social vibing is another human mechanism that causes people to feel good. Having fun and laughing always make you feel better. When you feel good, all your stresses go away.
7. Express creativity as much as possible
- Some examples: painting, writing, designing, sculpting, problem solving, building, models
8. Self-Improvement
- Develop a new skill. Learn to do something new. Find out how to do something better. Your improved value and ability, and most importantly your sense of accomplishment will make you feel good. When you feel good, your stresses seem to go away.
9. Help Others
- Giving is actually a selfish thing. When you donate to someone else, you are doing it because you feel good when you do. Therefore, you give so that you would feel good. This is the only time when you will hear me say that you should be as selfish as you like.
- Some of the ways you can help others: solving problems, fixing stuff, teaching, public service, become a firefighter, start a charity, organize a service group to address your community's issues and needs, cheer up lonely people, put something interesting into someone else's life, tutor or mentor someone for free, and the very best way to help others is by supporting my website! For ideas of how you can help, check out the contributions page of RarelyPublished.com
10. Get Laid
(this one should be self-explanatory, but since they don't teach you this in school, do some research online and buy a dating ebook. For guys, make sure you check out David Deangelo's "Double Your Dating". For ladies, if you need help here, then you're probably a b*tch or out of shape. Exercise and friendlier behavior may help and if you need style tips, find the prettiest dressed woman you know, and invite her to go clothes-shopping with you.)
11. Do some cleaning
- When you're cleaning, first of all, you're improving your life quality. Next, and actually, more importantly, it is symbolic of getting your life straightened out. Why exactly it works, I don't know. It just does.
12. Start something
- Not only will the result of your labors give you pride, but it will be adding value to the earth as a whole, even if a small bit, its still more value than there was before you started. Just think, you are the one adding value to the world. You did it. It's your accomplishment. You did it!
13. Change of Attitude
- Everyone could use a positive outlook on life, one where you recognize the opportunities and make the best out of anything that doesn't go as planned. It's not living in a fantasy world. It's just making the best of what you've got. Always. It's not an activity you do for once or twice a day. It's all in how you look at life. If this is something you're interested in and want more details on, send me an email (contact info on website).
- Don't whine or complain at all. Ever. COMPLAINING IS A GIANT CRAP MAGNET, AND CRAP DOESN'T TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. CRAP TRAVELS AT THE SPEED OF CRAP, AND THAT'S REALLY REALLY SLOW!! This is just a simple change you can do to make your frame of mind work for the better. That means doing something about your problems rather than whining about them.
- Remember the old saying "Coulda, shoulda, woulda..."? Well, if that's what you say, that's what you'll keep saying about yourself. Change you're frame of mind by not using those words in your vocabulary. Never regret the past. Learn from it and move forward. Replace the words "could", "would", and "should" (life happened to me attitude) with "can" and "will" (I control my life attitude). So next time you catch yourself using any of the three regret words, stop, and rephrase yourself with a can-do frame of mind.
14. Relax
- Un-tense your muscles (imagine all of them loosening from head to toe, one area at a time)
- Let go. There will always be more where that came from. Clinging on to something always makes you tense. Unless your life is directly at stake, attachment will probably increase your stress. This is fixed by letting go.
- Don't try to control anything but yourself
- Treat your "Chicken-Little-OMFG-The-Sky-Is-Falling Syndrome" (aka an exaggerated sense of danger/importance in areas outside of true life-or-death situations)
- Clear your mind
- Feel good (smile!)
About the Author:
Author of Explode Your Memory - A Total Manual to Memory Mastery, Duke Xenner runs a website devoted to personal development & life improvement. Be sure to check out his website for more cool resources: www.RarelyPublished.com - Personal Development & Life Improvement Portal
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Anger And Rage Addiction: How to Break The Cycle
The addictive cycle begins with just not feeling right. Your needs aren't being met, you may feel abused or neglected, either in the past or the present. You've tried to fix things in different ways, but nothing seems to work. You're just not getting what you want. You may not tell anyone, but you feel a lot of anxiety and pain, almost all of the time. The anger just builds and builds. You may have some physical pain from this, or the feeling that you're going to explode.
And then you do explode.
Usually when you explode, someone gets hurt. Some of your stress is relieved, and you might possibly even have felt good for a few moments while you were releasing, but it doesn't last. The person or people you hurt may be the ones you love the most in the world--either way you don't like the results of your explosion.
You swore you wouldn't do it again, but you just can't seem to stop. You feel guilty, and you may or may not be able to apologize. When you do apologize nobody really believes you anymore. You might even think you were justified in your explosion, blaming someone else for how you felt.
Your needs still are not met. The problem is worse. But you got the temporary relief from anger/rage release, so if something doesn't happen to break the cycle you will probably do it all again. This is addiction. You don't have to live like this.
CYCLE BREAKERS
Fortunately, there are many different ways to break the cycle of anger/rage addiction.
1. Learn to meet your unmet needs. There is a sad, frightened child in every anger/rage addict, whether they know it or not. Once you begin to meet some of your own emotional needs, you will be more easily satisfied with what others can give you, taking a lot of stress out of relationships.
2. Identify the old behavior patterns and faulty thought processes that you have been using that maintain your addiction and destructive behavior. You may need Anger Management Counseling or an Anger Management Program to help you with that.
3. Giving yourself some relief from physiological distress can also help to break anger/rage addiction cycles. Exercise, a healthy diet, relaxation or meditation can be very helpful in this area. Getting plenty of rest is also essential to alleviating physiological distress.
4. Finding healthy ways to release your anger and rage can be extremely helpful for breaking the addictive cycle. You can read Dr. DeFoore's book or listen to his Anger Management Techniques to learn more about healthy anger and rage release.
5. Experiencing physical release and relief with healthy anger work can be a major breakthrough for some people suffering from anger/rage addiction. Feeling powerful, being loud and using physical aggression in safe, non-destructive ways lets you know that it's okay to be strong and take charge of your situation. And no one has to get hurt in the process.
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
WHEN RAGE BECOMES ADDICTIVE
The powerful rush of adrenaline that often accompanies anger feels good. It actually gives a person greater physical strength temporarily while the adrenaline is being released. After the release of anger, there is often a sense of euphoria and general well-being. If there has been a significant physical exertion during the expression of anger, there may also be endorphins released into the bloodstream, creating an even greater feeling of pleasure. All of this adds up to one point: you can get addicted to explosive releases of anger and rage.
It feels bad to store up feelings. Sometimes you get tense, irritable and uneasy. You may even develop physical pain from the tension, and possibly develop stress-related illnesses. The relief from tension experienced during aggressive behavior actually creates good feelings on a physical level, although you may be in great pain emotionally. That's the nature of addiction. When pleasant feelings become associated with unhealthy and destructive behavior, you get addicted to that behavior.
The addictive cycle helps to illustrate how the pattern of suppression and explosion develops. The cycle begins when your needs for love, nurturance, support and security go unmet in childhood. This includes experiences of neglect, abandonment, rejection and the many types of direct abuse. Part of being born as a vulnerable child in an imperfect world means having experiences that are painful and frightening. One of the ways we protect ourselves from more pain is through the use of anger.
If your parents were not educated about the healthy value of anger, they may have punished or rejected you when you displayed this emotion. Unfortunately, you continued to be hurt in various ways, and many of your needs continued to go unmet. This causes a buildup of anger and frustration, leading to a breaking point in a situation you feel is "safe" to release your anger. The problem is that you tend to feel the safest (and the most angry) in your home with those you love. This is also where you tend to find the “last straw" that sends you “over the edge.”
That’s when the explosion occurs, followed by the rush of power and energy. At this point in the cycle, you may be verbally, emotionally or physically abusive. This usually leads to an apology or an attempt to "make it up to" the person or persons you have hurt. Some people don't do this part; they just retreat into tremendous shame and guilt and don't say a word about what has happened. Some powerful denial and blocking can occur at this point if the person is incapable of processing what has actually happened.
When apology or compensation does occur, the victim(s) may or may not forgive the abuser. It really does not matter. If the shame goes unhealed, the forgiveness will not be accepted. What matters is whether or not the person in the addictive cycle takes responsibility in the present, and takes care of unfinished business from the past. If they do, they've broken the cycle. If not, they will repeat the cycle and there will be more pain and suffering for all concerned. Fortunately, there are many effective ways to break the addiction cycle, and therefore no one has to be a victim to their addiction.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO
When you have effectively broken the anger and rage addiction cycle, your anger becomes healthy. Healthy anger is one of the most powerful resources you can have, and you can use it in positive ways to create the life of your dreams.
William DeFoore, Ph.D. is a counselor, speaker and coach who conducts workshops on anger management and emotional intelligence in personal and business relationships. Get information, watch videos and buy books, CDs and downloads at http://www.defoore.com.
And then you do explode.
Usually when you explode, someone gets hurt. Some of your stress is relieved, and you might possibly even have felt good for a few moments while you were releasing, but it doesn't last. The person or people you hurt may be the ones you love the most in the world--either way you don't like the results of your explosion.
You swore you wouldn't do it again, but you just can't seem to stop. You feel guilty, and you may or may not be able to apologize. When you do apologize nobody really believes you anymore. You might even think you were justified in your explosion, blaming someone else for how you felt.
Your needs still are not met. The problem is worse. But you got the temporary relief from anger/rage release, so if something doesn't happen to break the cycle you will probably do it all again. This is addiction. You don't have to live like this.
CYCLE BREAKERS
Fortunately, there are many different ways to break the cycle of anger/rage addiction.
1. Learn to meet your unmet needs. There is a sad, frightened child in every anger/rage addict, whether they know it or not. Once you begin to meet some of your own emotional needs, you will be more easily satisfied with what others can give you, taking a lot of stress out of relationships.
2. Identify the old behavior patterns and faulty thought processes that you have been using that maintain your addiction and destructive behavior. You may need Anger Management Counseling or an Anger Management Program to help you with that.
3. Giving yourself some relief from physiological distress can also help to break anger/rage addiction cycles. Exercise, a healthy diet, relaxation or meditation can be very helpful in this area. Getting plenty of rest is also essential to alleviating physiological distress.
4. Finding healthy ways to release your anger and rage can be extremely helpful for breaking the addictive cycle. You can read Dr. DeFoore's book or listen to his Anger Management Techniques to learn more about healthy anger and rage release.
5. Experiencing physical release and relief with healthy anger work can be a major breakthrough for some people suffering from anger/rage addiction. Feeling powerful, being loud and using physical aggression in safe, non-destructive ways lets you know that it's okay to be strong and take charge of your situation. And no one has to get hurt in the process.
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
WHEN RAGE BECOMES ADDICTIVE
The powerful rush of adrenaline that often accompanies anger feels good. It actually gives a person greater physical strength temporarily while the adrenaline is being released. After the release of anger, there is often a sense of euphoria and general well-being. If there has been a significant physical exertion during the expression of anger, there may also be endorphins released into the bloodstream, creating an even greater feeling of pleasure. All of this adds up to one point: you can get addicted to explosive releases of anger and rage.
It feels bad to store up feelings. Sometimes you get tense, irritable and uneasy. You may even develop physical pain from the tension, and possibly develop stress-related illnesses. The relief from tension experienced during aggressive behavior actually creates good feelings on a physical level, although you may be in great pain emotionally. That's the nature of addiction. When pleasant feelings become associated with unhealthy and destructive behavior, you get addicted to that behavior.
The addictive cycle helps to illustrate how the pattern of suppression and explosion develops. The cycle begins when your needs for love, nurturance, support and security go unmet in childhood. This includes experiences of neglect, abandonment, rejection and the many types of direct abuse. Part of being born as a vulnerable child in an imperfect world means having experiences that are painful and frightening. One of the ways we protect ourselves from more pain is through the use of anger.
If your parents were not educated about the healthy value of anger, they may have punished or rejected you when you displayed this emotion. Unfortunately, you continued to be hurt in various ways, and many of your needs continued to go unmet. This causes a buildup of anger and frustration, leading to a breaking point in a situation you feel is "safe" to release your anger. The problem is that you tend to feel the safest (and the most angry) in your home with those you love. This is also where you tend to find the “last straw" that sends you “over the edge.”
That’s when the explosion occurs, followed by the rush of power and energy. At this point in the cycle, you may be verbally, emotionally or physically abusive. This usually leads to an apology or an attempt to "make it up to" the person or persons you have hurt. Some people don't do this part; they just retreat into tremendous shame and guilt and don't say a word about what has happened. Some powerful denial and blocking can occur at this point if the person is incapable of processing what has actually happened.
When apology or compensation does occur, the victim(s) may or may not forgive the abuser. It really does not matter. If the shame goes unhealed, the forgiveness will not be accepted. What matters is whether or not the person in the addictive cycle takes responsibility in the present, and takes care of unfinished business from the past. If they do, they've broken the cycle. If not, they will repeat the cycle and there will be more pain and suffering for all concerned. Fortunately, there are many effective ways to break the addiction cycle, and therefore no one has to be a victim to their addiction.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO
When you have effectively broken the anger and rage addiction cycle, your anger becomes healthy. Healthy anger is one of the most powerful resources you can have, and you can use it in positive ways to create the life of your dreams.
William DeFoore, Ph.D. is a counselor, speaker and coach who conducts workshops on anger management and emotional intelligence in personal and business relationships. Get information, watch videos and buy books, CDs and downloads at http://www.defoore.com.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Free Your Conscious Mind For Your Subconscious Mind To Work
Your subconscious mind works best when your conscious mind is asleep or pleasantly occupied. In between intending and manifesting must be a temporary period of forgetting. If you want a good parking spot, give yourself enough time to forget about your intent before you get there. The sooner you think about something else the sooner reality can get to work. There is no easier way to take your conscious mind off something than by keeping yourself busy with something else.
There are times when you have a question about what to do make but can't seem to find the answer. You don't have to force yourself to come up with the decision in the moment. You can take a break and go do something else so that your subconscious mind can work on it. The answer will come to you as your subconscious mind pieces together the information it knows to develop the best choice that you can act on. You will become a lot more clear about what to do when that happens.
The people who accomplish the most are the ones who seem to work the least. That is because the ones that work the most are only working with half a mind. They spend so much time working consciously and not resting to let their subconscious work instead. The ones that work with a full mind do so by switching between working with their conscious mind and subconscious mind. They are able to focus their thoughts on a matter and then let it go free for awhile before returning back again.
You can be happy to know that to be successful, it is really essential to take more time for enjoyable diversion, instead of working longer and harder. Working smarter means working with your whole mind. Don't do more work with your conscious mind than is necessary or you are wasting energy. Hold your mind on what you intend to manifest and then go do something else. The more you rest by freeing your conscious mind of a matter, the more your subconscious gets to work on it.
Take time off to go do what you enjoy. Relax and have some fun. Play and chill out for awhile. Your subconscious mind will direct you in your work, making it better, easier to perform and far more pleasant. This is what it means by doing less and achieving more. There is less and less conscious effort required as everything just goes into a flow. What you do becomes easy and effortless. This is the optimal way you want to accomplish things.
The intelligence of your subconscious mind is infinitely far more than all the intelligence of your conscious mind. You don't have to worry when you do not think you have all the knowledge and awareness you need to handle a particular situation. That is the time when you can receive inspiration instead. You can never know everything consciously but you already know everything subconsciously. Worry hinders you from doing the things that would otherwise solve what you are worrying about.
Your desire sets intent in motion, which in turn attaches a line of force to your target. Now you must be drawn together like a fisherman and the fish. Once the line is cast, desire is forgotten allowing the universe or subconscious to reel you and the goal together with the least possible effort or resistance in between. Consciously you can not possibly calculate or predict completely what is required to reach your desire. Detachment and forgetfulness allows you to be led.
Detachment is the ability to close the doors of intention, to put out of the conscious mind once the working is complete. You focus your intention to perform the work and then you set it aside. Let the subconscious take over and carry it out. When you think too much about something consciously, you trigger conscious thought processes which interfere with your subconscious manifesting.
If you want something too much, and you're constantly thinking of it, you will end up pushing it away. You interrupt things just as they're about to be given to you. Once the intention is in the subconscious mind it will operate unaided. If the thought or desire comes back into your conscious mind, suppress it. Do whatever to push it back out of your mind. Don't consciously dwell on it.
The autopilot and the pilot cannot control the plane at the same time. Ease of perfection in accomplishing anything depends on how much you are able to let go of conscious control over it and allow yourself to act automatically and effortlessly. When you free you conscious mind for your subconscious to work, you are allowing God and the universe to work on your behalf and to do the work through you. Free your mind and it will do wonders for you.
Enoch Tan aims to help people achieve greater awareness in living and experiencing life. To evolve human consciousness to higher levels. To change lives and create possibility. To revolutionize the way we understand the mind and reality. Because that is what governs every area of life and destiny. Get Free Ebooks of Life's Greatest Secrets and Learn Secrets Most People will Never Know about the Mind and Reality Now at: http://www.MindReality.com
There are times when you have a question about what to do make but can't seem to find the answer. You don't have to force yourself to come up with the decision in the moment. You can take a break and go do something else so that your subconscious mind can work on it. The answer will come to you as your subconscious mind pieces together the information it knows to develop the best choice that you can act on. You will become a lot more clear about what to do when that happens.
The people who accomplish the most are the ones who seem to work the least. That is because the ones that work the most are only working with half a mind. They spend so much time working consciously and not resting to let their subconscious work instead. The ones that work with a full mind do so by switching between working with their conscious mind and subconscious mind. They are able to focus their thoughts on a matter and then let it go free for awhile before returning back again.
You can be happy to know that to be successful, it is really essential to take more time for enjoyable diversion, instead of working longer and harder. Working smarter means working with your whole mind. Don't do more work with your conscious mind than is necessary or you are wasting energy. Hold your mind on what you intend to manifest and then go do something else. The more you rest by freeing your conscious mind of a matter, the more your subconscious gets to work on it.
Take time off to go do what you enjoy. Relax and have some fun. Play and chill out for awhile. Your subconscious mind will direct you in your work, making it better, easier to perform and far more pleasant. This is what it means by doing less and achieving more. There is less and less conscious effort required as everything just goes into a flow. What you do becomes easy and effortless. This is the optimal way you want to accomplish things.
The intelligence of your subconscious mind is infinitely far more than all the intelligence of your conscious mind. You don't have to worry when you do not think you have all the knowledge and awareness you need to handle a particular situation. That is the time when you can receive inspiration instead. You can never know everything consciously but you already know everything subconsciously. Worry hinders you from doing the things that would otherwise solve what you are worrying about.
Your desire sets intent in motion, which in turn attaches a line of force to your target. Now you must be drawn together like a fisherman and the fish. Once the line is cast, desire is forgotten allowing the universe or subconscious to reel you and the goal together with the least possible effort or resistance in between. Consciously you can not possibly calculate or predict completely what is required to reach your desire. Detachment and forgetfulness allows you to be led.
Detachment is the ability to close the doors of intention, to put out of the conscious mind once the working is complete. You focus your intention to perform the work and then you set it aside. Let the subconscious take over and carry it out. When you think too much about something consciously, you trigger conscious thought processes which interfere with your subconscious manifesting.
If you want something too much, and you're constantly thinking of it, you will end up pushing it away. You interrupt things just as they're about to be given to you. Once the intention is in the subconscious mind it will operate unaided. If the thought or desire comes back into your conscious mind, suppress it. Do whatever to push it back out of your mind. Don't consciously dwell on it.
The autopilot and the pilot cannot control the plane at the same time. Ease of perfection in accomplishing anything depends on how much you are able to let go of conscious control over it and allow yourself to act automatically and effortlessly. When you free you conscious mind for your subconscious to work, you are allowing God and the universe to work on your behalf and to do the work through you. Free your mind and it will do wonders for you.
Enoch Tan aims to help people achieve greater awareness in living and experiencing life. To evolve human consciousness to higher levels. To change lives and create possibility. To revolutionize the way we understand the mind and reality. Because that is what governs every area of life and destiny. Get Free Ebooks of Life's Greatest Secrets and Learn Secrets Most People will Never Know about the Mind and Reality Now at: http://www.MindReality.com
How To Turn Potential Into Success
Do you know someone with an extraordinary talent? Maybe that person is a gifted athlete, artist, or musician. Or perhaps that person has a mind for business, is a master with numbers, or knows precisely how to handle people. Although this person has these gifts that some people would die for, they never seem to use their gift to help them reach their full potential. Or maybe they are applying their skills but just can’t seem to get past a certain level of accomplishment. Maybe you know someone like that. Maybe that someone is you. Everyone has the potential to be someone great. But sometimes the journey to greatness seems so impossible most never make the trip. Others start the journey but get so discouraged by obstacles and setbacks that they give in before they reach their destination. Here are five steps you can take to harness your potential so you can get to the promise land of success.
Know where you are going.
If someone were to ask you where do you see yourself financially in 5 years what would you say? You might say something like “I’d like to have enough money to get out of debt or buy a bigger house”. Those are good goals to have but how much money is enough money? Most people generalize their goals so much that specifics of what they want aren’t clear to them. That’s like if you asked someone where they were going on their vacation and they said, “We’re going to Florida and we’re staying near a beach”. You’d probably wonder where in Florida and which beach? If that person is really planning on going to Florida they are eventually going to have to decide whether they want to go to Daytona, Miami, or Key West. Once they’ve decided to go to Miami then getting there will be easier. The same is true of your goals. Write your goals down so you can see them. The sooner you know where you are going, the sooner you will get there.
Practice Your Potential
The most common mistake that most people make on their voyage is that they are not prepared for opportunities. The reason that they are not prepared for opportunities is that they did not practice their potential. In order for you to succeed you must be prepared for success. For example consider former NBA basketball player Steve Kerr. He would practice relentlessly and shoot hundreds of shots a day. Kerr’s most memorable moment came in 1997 championship game when his teammate Michael Jordan passed him the ball and Steve made the game winning shot. Although Steve Kerr shot hundreds of shots in preparation for the games, he only attempted a few shots a game. So why practice a hundred shots if you are only going to shot a few? Because those hundreds of shots Steve Kerr took were to prepare him for that one crucial time when he would need to make one important shot. You see if you want to succeed at something you have to be prepared for that moment of success. Read up on how others have succeeded where you want to succeed and be prepared for your moment when it comes.
Develop successful habits
The difference between the people who succeed and the people who fail lie in their habits. Most people might shrug off bad habits as something they’ve always done and will always do so there is no point in changing them. The truth is the very habits that they have accepted are the very reason they have not found success in some areas of their lives. If you were a manager and you had a choice to promote two people one who had a habit of being tardy and not completing assignments. And another who was always early and saw a project through to completion, which one would you choose?
Bounce back quickly
Success is a journey. This journey is littered with obstacles and setbacks that are designed to test your resiliency. These obstacles can be discouraging and can create the feeling of failure. Once that feeling is there you may entertain thoughts of giving up the journey. In order for you to bounce back quickly you must prepare yourself for these obstacles internally and externally. Do all that you can to prevent these setbacks from happening but if they do happen, remind yourself of your goal. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you when you are tempted to give up. Keep motivational materials around also. Posting motivational quotes or reading success stories may give you that recharge that you need to keep you going. The quicker you bounce back the quicker you will reach your goal.
Keep on Succeeding
Accomplishments feel good and encourage us to continue on to where we want to go. But once we succeed there is a way to keep on succeeding. The journey of success is never boring and never easy. There is always someone out there who will look at the things you have accomplished and wish they could do the same. Helping others succeed is the best way to keep on succeeding. Since you made it through the fire and came out a success, you’ve gained a lot of experience and will probably have a lot to share. Imagine the encouragement someone will feel when you tell them the story of your success and how you made it through those same obstacles that they are now facing. Passing on knowledge, resources, and wisdom to someone who has the same vision of success that you have is one of the most rewarding feelings anyone can have.
You have the potential…now it’s time to succeed.
Ralph Jean-Paul is a motivational speaker and the founder of http://Potential2Success.com. He is a champion speaker mentored many to success. His desire to motivate people to become their best has lead him create a website with categories such as business, money, family, health, and relationships. The website’s sole purpose is to offer information, quotes, stories, and interviews so that all visitors will leave the site ready to harness their potential and turn it into success. Please visit us at http://www.Potential2Success.com or you may email Ralph directly at email@potential2success.com
Know where you are going.
If someone were to ask you where do you see yourself financially in 5 years what would you say? You might say something like “I’d like to have enough money to get out of debt or buy a bigger house”. Those are good goals to have but how much money is enough money? Most people generalize their goals so much that specifics of what they want aren’t clear to them. That’s like if you asked someone where they were going on their vacation and they said, “We’re going to Florida and we’re staying near a beach”. You’d probably wonder where in Florida and which beach? If that person is really planning on going to Florida they are eventually going to have to decide whether they want to go to Daytona, Miami, or Key West. Once they’ve decided to go to Miami then getting there will be easier. The same is true of your goals. Write your goals down so you can see them. The sooner you know where you are going, the sooner you will get there.
Practice Your Potential
The most common mistake that most people make on their voyage is that they are not prepared for opportunities. The reason that they are not prepared for opportunities is that they did not practice their potential. In order for you to succeed you must be prepared for success. For example consider former NBA basketball player Steve Kerr. He would practice relentlessly and shoot hundreds of shots a day. Kerr’s most memorable moment came in 1997 championship game when his teammate Michael Jordan passed him the ball and Steve made the game winning shot. Although Steve Kerr shot hundreds of shots in preparation for the games, he only attempted a few shots a game. So why practice a hundred shots if you are only going to shot a few? Because those hundreds of shots Steve Kerr took were to prepare him for that one crucial time when he would need to make one important shot. You see if you want to succeed at something you have to be prepared for that moment of success. Read up on how others have succeeded where you want to succeed and be prepared for your moment when it comes.
Develop successful habits
The difference between the people who succeed and the people who fail lie in their habits. Most people might shrug off bad habits as something they’ve always done and will always do so there is no point in changing them. The truth is the very habits that they have accepted are the very reason they have not found success in some areas of their lives. If you were a manager and you had a choice to promote two people one who had a habit of being tardy and not completing assignments. And another who was always early and saw a project through to completion, which one would you choose?
Bounce back quickly
Success is a journey. This journey is littered with obstacles and setbacks that are designed to test your resiliency. These obstacles can be discouraging and can create the feeling of failure. Once that feeling is there you may entertain thoughts of giving up the journey. In order for you to bounce back quickly you must prepare yourself for these obstacles internally and externally. Do all that you can to prevent these setbacks from happening but if they do happen, remind yourself of your goal. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you when you are tempted to give up. Keep motivational materials around also. Posting motivational quotes or reading success stories may give you that recharge that you need to keep you going. The quicker you bounce back the quicker you will reach your goal.
Keep on Succeeding
Accomplishments feel good and encourage us to continue on to where we want to go. But once we succeed there is a way to keep on succeeding. The journey of success is never boring and never easy. There is always someone out there who will look at the things you have accomplished and wish they could do the same. Helping others succeed is the best way to keep on succeeding. Since you made it through the fire and came out a success, you’ve gained a lot of experience and will probably have a lot to share. Imagine the encouragement someone will feel when you tell them the story of your success and how you made it through those same obstacles that they are now facing. Passing on knowledge, resources, and wisdom to someone who has the same vision of success that you have is one of the most rewarding feelings anyone can have.
You have the potential…now it’s time to succeed.
Ralph Jean-Paul is a motivational speaker and the founder of http://Potential2Success.com. He is a champion speaker mentored many to success. His desire to motivate people to become their best has lead him create a website with categories such as business, money, family, health, and relationships. The website’s sole purpose is to offer information, quotes, stories, and interviews so that all visitors will leave the site ready to harness their potential and turn it into success. Please visit us at http://www.Potential2Success.com or you may email Ralph directly at email@potential2success.com
How To Be A More Motivational Manager
Would you like to know the secrets of motivating your staff? Of course you would. I mean, who wouldn't?
Well this is what it takes.
It may appear that all great motivational managers know the secrets to improving an employees performance. But what these great managers know is no secret at all: everything you ever needed to know about enhancing the productivity of your staff is actually contained in a few simple techniques that are guaranteed to increase the efficiency of your department/service/business.
5 Things That Every Great Manager Knows.
These five things are not profit margin, gains, losses, tax deductions, or assets - but instead are the human factors of management.
You cannot put a price or value on the factors that drive an employees performance. This is because most people remain with an employer because of the quality and satisfaction derived from a rewarding and balanced workplace.
Great managers recognize and respect this "x factor" of the business world and work to improve it with these simple tips.
1. Motivation - Every employee is unique; therefore the motivation to perform better will be different for each person. Know your staff and identify the motivator for each employee and provide opportunities that encourage their interest and performance.
2. Setting Goals - Make sure you have a vision for how you want your department, service or business to operate now and in the future. Communicate your vision to your employees so that they are directing their energies toward a common goal. They will feel like they are a part of the business and this will enhance performance.
3. Praise - Take advantage of big and small opportunities to praise your employees for work well done. Your recognition of their performance means a lot and it is important that you acknowledge their efforts.
4. Feedback - Be lavish with praise but selfish with criticisms -but do offer kind words of constructive feedback that makes your employees feel respected and valued.
5. Management - Be available as a resource to your employees. They should feel comfortable to approach you with questions and concerns and not feel as if they are imposing on your time. They should be able to depend upon you for guidance and as a model of what excellent performance is all about.
A Last Word...
As you can see, there is no one secret to improving the performance level of employees. You can start today with these simple tips that are easy to implement into the everyday workings of your department. After all, your employees and business deserve anything and everything that will help them flourish and continue to grow.
Andrew Rondeau is a leading Management & Leadership Strategist and offers Management/Leadership Mentoring and Coaching Services.
About The Author:
Andrew is the author of several ground breaking e-Books including 'Accelerate Your Management Effectiveness', 'How To Get A Standing Ovation Every Time You Publicly Present' and 'Learn The Secrets Of Time Management'. http://www.andrewrondeau.co.uk
Well this is what it takes.
It may appear that all great motivational managers know the secrets to improving an employees performance. But what these great managers know is no secret at all: everything you ever needed to know about enhancing the productivity of your staff is actually contained in a few simple techniques that are guaranteed to increase the efficiency of your department/service/business.
5 Things That Every Great Manager Knows.
These five things are not profit margin, gains, losses, tax deductions, or assets - but instead are the human factors of management.
You cannot put a price or value on the factors that drive an employees performance. This is because most people remain with an employer because of the quality and satisfaction derived from a rewarding and balanced workplace.
Great managers recognize and respect this "x factor" of the business world and work to improve it with these simple tips.
1. Motivation - Every employee is unique; therefore the motivation to perform better will be different for each person. Know your staff and identify the motivator for each employee and provide opportunities that encourage their interest and performance.
2. Setting Goals - Make sure you have a vision for how you want your department, service or business to operate now and in the future. Communicate your vision to your employees so that they are directing their energies toward a common goal. They will feel like they are a part of the business and this will enhance performance.
3. Praise - Take advantage of big and small opportunities to praise your employees for work well done. Your recognition of their performance means a lot and it is important that you acknowledge their efforts.
4. Feedback - Be lavish with praise but selfish with criticisms -but do offer kind words of constructive feedback that makes your employees feel respected and valued.
5. Management - Be available as a resource to your employees. They should feel comfortable to approach you with questions and concerns and not feel as if they are imposing on your time. They should be able to depend upon you for guidance and as a model of what excellent performance is all about.
A Last Word...
As you can see, there is no one secret to improving the performance level of employees. You can start today with these simple tips that are easy to implement into the everyday workings of your department. After all, your employees and business deserve anything and everything that will help them flourish and continue to grow.
Andrew Rondeau is a leading Management & Leadership Strategist and offers Management/Leadership Mentoring and Coaching Services.
About The Author:
Andrew is the author of several ground breaking e-Books including 'Accelerate Your Management Effectiveness', 'How To Get A Standing Ovation Every Time You Publicly Present' and 'Learn The Secrets Of Time Management'. http://www.andrewrondeau.co.uk
The Three Strangest Reasons For Procrastination
Have you ever wondered why you procrastinate? Procrastination is indeed a very strange behaviour and is a trap that all of us tend to fall into from time to time. On a conscious level you might want to do something or achieve something and although you know what you have to do, you still can’t seem to get yourself to actually do it. It’s almost like there is some ‘invisible force’ that prevents you from taking action and you can’t quite explain what it is - from a rational perspective at least.
Although it might appear that there is no logical explanation for this seemingly irrational behaviour, there are still reasons for procrastination. These reasons, however are not always that obvious. Human behaviour is not haphazard or coincidental - everything we do we do for a reason. In fact, everything we do, we do for a positive intent. Everything that you do is driven by your desire to improve your circumstances at some level of your consciousness. It is impossible for someone to do something that she believes will leave her worse off. For some people this might mean killing themselves, while for others it might mean climbing a mountain, while for others it might mean giving up a bad habit. It all varies according to our beliefs.
This is a very important concept to understand if you are to understand the reasons for procrastination. Although there are many reasons on the surface as to why you procrastinate, the underlying reason always boils down to one factor: FEAR. Fear is what shuts you down and prevents you from taking action. By design fear is there to ‘help’ you and whenever you fear something you will be compelled to prevent an encounter with whatever you fear.
Although fear is the underlying factor behind procrastination, we tend to see certain common fears amongst procrastinators. Here are the three most common reasons for procrastination and the fears that we subconsciously attach to them:
Fear #1: The Fear Of Failure
When you fear failure you are inclined to avoid participating in the first place. The common association is that ‘if I don’t do it, then I can’t fail and no one can judge me’. This is very prominent amongst procrastinators and they often hide behind the perfectionism frame. They will wait for things to be perfect until they take action, so they keep postponing tasks waiting for the ‘right time’ before they take action. Out of the fear of failing and looking bad, they would often spend vast amounts of time on a project without making any real progress because at a subconscious level they don’t ‘want to’ finish – a finished project will make them vulnerable for criticism and consequently failure. The result is that they always find ‘good reasons’ to postpone or even avoid the tasks all together.
Fear #2: The Fear Of Unpleasant Or Painful Experiences
If you believe that some action will lead to a painful or unpleasant experience then you will feel compelled not to do it. Your nervous system is designed to avoid painful experiences. The ironic thing is that we get to decide what we believe, and what will be ‘painful’ experiences. Unfortunately for most of us, our beliefs were ‘installed’ by default and we learned by association. Through experience we ‘learned’ by our results and we tend to use this limited information form (mostly) past experiences to make up future meanings and we start imagining potential consequences to the point where we actually believe them. If you believe that some action will lead to a painful or unpleasant experience, you will avoid it, regardless of whether your association is accurate or not. What you believe is what’s real for you and this is what you will act upon.
Fear #3: The Fear Of Missing Out
In the frenzy of modern living we all want to get a piece of the action. We simply cannot help it. Every day we get bombarded with numerous opportunities and it seems like the media’s sole mission is to get our attention. The challenge is that we don’t want to miss out – no one wants to be left behind and miss out on what everybody else is gaining from. The challenge with this is that we tend to take on way too much, to the point where we get overwhelmed. When you feel overwhelmed, the natural reaction is to shut down and the result is usually procrastination. When you overload yourself with too many things that you ‘have to do’ you simply cannot deal with all of it and procrastination comes to your ‘aid’. Like a breaker switch in an electric current, procrastination will kick in when the load becomes too heavy.
These three factors are by no means the only reasons for procrastination, but it is definitely some of the most common. An awareness of these fears in itself can help you to overcome procrastination. Realize that F.E.A.R is only an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real and most of your fears are only imaginary. You can break through your fears and take action. It is your ultimate power to direct and steer your life. Don’t allow procrastination and indecision to keep you immobilized. Keep moving forward. Keep taking action.
Author Deon Du Plessis (Overcoming-Procrastination.Com) is a specialist in the field of behavioral psychology and author of the acclaimed Course Of Action, a (free) eCourse designed to compel you to action and make your ideas real. Enroll now
If You Want To Be Successful Then You Have To Get Out Of The Way
Trying to force success can actually prevent it. Successful people learn the art of getting into the right river and then going with the flow. If you fight the natural laws of success then no matter how hard you try you will not become successful.
Set the Right Goal for Your Own Happiness
When you set a goal make sure that it is a goal that you want to achieve not a goal that you are setting because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Ask yourself if achieving that goal will really enhance your life or not. For example, so many people end up in a profession that they don't like because they are following their parents' goal or their teacher's goal for their life.
Look at the goals that you have set in the past and see if there is a pattern of setting goals that you truly want or if you have been setting other peoples' goals.
Start Working Toward Your Goal Immediately Whether You Are Ready to or Not
The worse thing you can do is not to start working toward that goal immediately that you set it. If you are waiting until you are prepared then you are trying to force the goal and you are fighting against nature.
Just start. Follow your intuition and do whatever comes into your mind as a starting step. You can refine what you are doing as you go. If however you try to preplan the entire process then you are not allowing the flexibility required to respond to what is actually happening in the world. Forcing it doesn't work. The best way to start is to just start.
Have Total Faith that You Will Achieve Your Goal
Have total faith that the universe will provide you with all the opportunity that you need in order to achieve your goal. Have total faith that your goal will actually become a reality for you.
Most people don't really believe that they will get their goals; they hope that they will get them. Hope will not do it. Hope is not enough. In fact hope is the worst thing that you can have, because when you hope for something there is always an underlying belief that it won't actually happen.
Hope is a belief that you will have to go against all probability in order to achieve it. People hope that they will win money but they don't. People hope that their life will get better but it doesn't. People hope that they will meet mister or miss right but they never do.
Develop faith by spending 5 to 10 minutes, 3 times each day, building an image in your mind of you actually living your goal.
Open Your Mind to Receiving Guidance and Help
Keep your mind open to the idea that the opportunities that you will need are going to show up in your life. Then when the opportunity does come along make sure that you take it. Learn to recognize what opportunity actually looks like. Realize that sometimes opportunity comes to you disguised as a problem or difficulty.
Keep your mind open to the idea that the teachers you need will show up in your life and when they do make sure that you learn from them. Accept that you may have to pay for these lessons, you may have to enroll in courses or seminars or coaching or mentoring. You may have to buy and read books or buy and listen to audio programs.
Observe the Outcomes of Your Activity
Follow your intuition but keep an eye on what the outcomes of your actions are. If the outcomes are not taking you closer to your goals then modify your actions. As I said earlier, each step along the road to success cannot be preplanned. Take your step and they see where it is taking you. You may wander to the left or to the right of the correct path but if you keep your eyes open then you won't go far off track before you make a course correction.
In Conclusion
Remember and use this five step formula; set the right goals, start working toward them immediately, have total faith that you will achieve them, keep your mind open to guidance and help, and observe your outcomes.
James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his
ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind"
(valued at $27) completely FREE.
Go to http://www.YourSuccessMind.com
Set the Right Goal for Your Own Happiness
When you set a goal make sure that it is a goal that you want to achieve not a goal that you are setting because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Ask yourself if achieving that goal will really enhance your life or not. For example, so many people end up in a profession that they don't like because they are following their parents' goal or their teacher's goal for their life.
Look at the goals that you have set in the past and see if there is a pattern of setting goals that you truly want or if you have been setting other peoples' goals.
Start Working Toward Your Goal Immediately Whether You Are Ready to or Not
The worse thing you can do is not to start working toward that goal immediately that you set it. If you are waiting until you are prepared then you are trying to force the goal and you are fighting against nature.
Just start. Follow your intuition and do whatever comes into your mind as a starting step. You can refine what you are doing as you go. If however you try to preplan the entire process then you are not allowing the flexibility required to respond to what is actually happening in the world. Forcing it doesn't work. The best way to start is to just start.
Have Total Faith that You Will Achieve Your Goal
Have total faith that the universe will provide you with all the opportunity that you need in order to achieve your goal. Have total faith that your goal will actually become a reality for you.
Most people don't really believe that they will get their goals; they hope that they will get them. Hope will not do it. Hope is not enough. In fact hope is the worst thing that you can have, because when you hope for something there is always an underlying belief that it won't actually happen.
Hope is a belief that you will have to go against all probability in order to achieve it. People hope that they will win money but they don't. People hope that their life will get better but it doesn't. People hope that they will meet mister or miss right but they never do.
Develop faith by spending 5 to 10 minutes, 3 times each day, building an image in your mind of you actually living your goal.
Open Your Mind to Receiving Guidance and Help
Keep your mind open to the idea that the opportunities that you will need are going to show up in your life. Then when the opportunity does come along make sure that you take it. Learn to recognize what opportunity actually looks like. Realize that sometimes opportunity comes to you disguised as a problem or difficulty.
Keep your mind open to the idea that the teachers you need will show up in your life and when they do make sure that you learn from them. Accept that you may have to pay for these lessons, you may have to enroll in courses or seminars or coaching or mentoring. You may have to buy and read books or buy and listen to audio programs.
Observe the Outcomes of Your Activity
Follow your intuition but keep an eye on what the outcomes of your actions are. If the outcomes are not taking you closer to your goals then modify your actions. As I said earlier, each step along the road to success cannot be preplanned. Take your step and they see where it is taking you. You may wander to the left or to the right of the correct path but if you keep your eyes open then you won't go far off track before you make a course correction.
In Conclusion
Remember and use this five step formula; set the right goals, start working toward them immediately, have total faith that you will achieve them, keep your mind open to guidance and help, and observe your outcomes.
James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his
ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind"
(valued at $27) completely FREE.
Go to http://www.YourSuccessMind.com
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