The addictive cycle begins with just not feeling right. Your needs aren't being met, you may feel abused or neglected, either in the past or the present. You've tried to fix things in different ways, but nothing seems to work. You're just not getting what you want. You may not tell anyone, but you feel a lot of anxiety and pain, almost all of the time. The anger just builds and builds. You may have some physical pain from this, or the feeling that you're going to explode.
And then you do explode.
Usually when you explode, someone gets hurt. Some of your stress is relieved, and you might possibly even have felt good for a few moments while you were releasing, but it doesn't last. The person or people you hurt may be the ones you love the most in the world--either way you don't like the results of your explosion.
You swore you wouldn't do it again, but you just can't seem to stop. You feel guilty, and you may or may not be able to apologize. When you do apologize nobody really believes you anymore. You might even think you were justified in your explosion, blaming someone else for how you felt.
Your needs still are not met. The problem is worse. But you got the temporary relief from anger/rage release, so if something doesn't happen to break the cycle you will probably do it all again. This is addiction. You don't have to live like this.
CYCLE BREAKERS
Fortunately, there are many different ways to break the cycle of anger/rage addiction.
1. Learn to meet your unmet needs. There is a sad, frightened child in every anger/rage addict, whether they know it or not. Once you begin to meet some of your own emotional needs, you will be more easily satisfied with what others can give you, taking a lot of stress out of relationships.
2. Identify the old behavior patterns and faulty thought processes that you have been using that maintain your addiction and destructive behavior. You may need Anger Management Counseling or an Anger Management Program to help you with that.
3. Giving yourself some relief from physiological distress can also help to break anger/rage addiction cycles. Exercise, a healthy diet, relaxation or meditation can be very helpful in this area. Getting plenty of rest is also essential to alleviating physiological distress.
4. Finding healthy ways to release your anger and rage can be extremely helpful for breaking the addictive cycle. You can read Dr. DeFoore's book or listen to his Anger Management Techniques to learn more about healthy anger and rage release.
5. Experiencing physical release and relief with healthy anger work can be a major breakthrough for some people suffering from anger/rage addiction. Feeling powerful, being loud and using physical aggression in safe, non-destructive ways lets you know that it's okay to be strong and take charge of your situation. And no one has to get hurt in the process.
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WHEN RAGE BECOMES ADDICTIVE
The powerful rush of adrenaline that often accompanies anger feels good. It actually gives a person greater physical strength temporarily while the adrenaline is being released. After the release of anger, there is often a sense of euphoria and general well-being. If there has been a significant physical exertion during the expression of anger, there may also be endorphins released into the bloodstream, creating an even greater feeling of pleasure. All of this adds up to one point: you can get addicted to explosive releases of anger and rage.
It feels bad to store up feelings. Sometimes you get tense, irritable and uneasy. You may even develop physical pain from the tension, and possibly develop stress-related illnesses. The relief from tension experienced during aggressive behavior actually creates good feelings on a physical level, although you may be in great pain emotionally. That's the nature of addiction. When pleasant feelings become associated with unhealthy and destructive behavior, you get addicted to that behavior.
The addictive cycle helps to illustrate how the pattern of suppression and explosion develops. The cycle begins when your needs for love, nurturance, support and security go unmet in childhood. This includes experiences of neglect, abandonment, rejection and the many types of direct abuse. Part of being born as a vulnerable child in an imperfect world means having experiences that are painful and frightening. One of the ways we protect ourselves from more pain is through the use of anger.
If your parents were not educated about the healthy value of anger, they may have punished or rejected you when you displayed this emotion. Unfortunately, you continued to be hurt in various ways, and many of your needs continued to go unmet. This causes a buildup of anger and frustration, leading to a breaking point in a situation you feel is "safe" to release your anger. The problem is that you tend to feel the safest (and the most angry) in your home with those you love. This is also where you tend to find the “last straw" that sends you “over the edge.”
That’s when the explosion occurs, followed by the rush of power and energy. At this point in the cycle, you may be verbally, emotionally or physically abusive. This usually leads to an apology or an attempt to "make it up to" the person or persons you have hurt. Some people don't do this part; they just retreat into tremendous shame and guilt and don't say a word about what has happened. Some powerful denial and blocking can occur at this point if the person is incapable of processing what has actually happened.
When apology or compensation does occur, the victim(s) may or may not forgive the abuser. It really does not matter. If the shame goes unhealed, the forgiveness will not be accepted. What matters is whether or not the person in the addictive cycle takes responsibility in the present, and takes care of unfinished business from the past. If they do, they've broken the cycle. If not, they will repeat the cycle and there will be more pain and suffering for all concerned. Fortunately, there are many effective ways to break the addiction cycle, and therefore no one has to be a victim to their addiction.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO
When you have effectively broken the anger and rage addiction cycle, your anger becomes healthy. Healthy anger is one of the most powerful resources you can have, and you can use it in positive ways to create the life of your dreams.
William DeFoore, Ph.D. is a counselor, speaker and coach who conducts workshops on anger management and emotional intelligence in personal and business relationships. Get information, watch videos and buy books, CDs and downloads at http://www.defoore.com.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Free Your Conscious Mind For Your Subconscious Mind To Work
Your subconscious mind works best when your conscious mind is asleep or pleasantly occupied. In between intending and manifesting must be a temporary period of forgetting. If you want a good parking spot, give yourself enough time to forget about your intent before you get there. The sooner you think about something else the sooner reality can get to work. There is no easier way to take your conscious mind off something than by keeping yourself busy with something else.
There are times when you have a question about what to do make but can't seem to find the answer. You don't have to force yourself to come up with the decision in the moment. You can take a break and go do something else so that your subconscious mind can work on it. The answer will come to you as your subconscious mind pieces together the information it knows to develop the best choice that you can act on. You will become a lot more clear about what to do when that happens.
The people who accomplish the most are the ones who seem to work the least. That is because the ones that work the most are only working with half a mind. They spend so much time working consciously and not resting to let their subconscious work instead. The ones that work with a full mind do so by switching between working with their conscious mind and subconscious mind. They are able to focus their thoughts on a matter and then let it go free for awhile before returning back again.
You can be happy to know that to be successful, it is really essential to take more time for enjoyable diversion, instead of working longer and harder. Working smarter means working with your whole mind. Don't do more work with your conscious mind than is necessary or you are wasting energy. Hold your mind on what you intend to manifest and then go do something else. The more you rest by freeing your conscious mind of a matter, the more your subconscious gets to work on it.
Take time off to go do what you enjoy. Relax and have some fun. Play and chill out for awhile. Your subconscious mind will direct you in your work, making it better, easier to perform and far more pleasant. This is what it means by doing less and achieving more. There is less and less conscious effort required as everything just goes into a flow. What you do becomes easy and effortless. This is the optimal way you want to accomplish things.
The intelligence of your subconscious mind is infinitely far more than all the intelligence of your conscious mind. You don't have to worry when you do not think you have all the knowledge and awareness you need to handle a particular situation. That is the time when you can receive inspiration instead. You can never know everything consciously but you already know everything subconsciously. Worry hinders you from doing the things that would otherwise solve what you are worrying about.
Your desire sets intent in motion, which in turn attaches a line of force to your target. Now you must be drawn together like a fisherman and the fish. Once the line is cast, desire is forgotten allowing the universe or subconscious to reel you and the goal together with the least possible effort or resistance in between. Consciously you can not possibly calculate or predict completely what is required to reach your desire. Detachment and forgetfulness allows you to be led.
Detachment is the ability to close the doors of intention, to put out of the conscious mind once the working is complete. You focus your intention to perform the work and then you set it aside. Let the subconscious take over and carry it out. When you think too much about something consciously, you trigger conscious thought processes which interfere with your subconscious manifesting.
If you want something too much, and you're constantly thinking of it, you will end up pushing it away. You interrupt things just as they're about to be given to you. Once the intention is in the subconscious mind it will operate unaided. If the thought or desire comes back into your conscious mind, suppress it. Do whatever to push it back out of your mind. Don't consciously dwell on it.
The autopilot and the pilot cannot control the plane at the same time. Ease of perfection in accomplishing anything depends on how much you are able to let go of conscious control over it and allow yourself to act automatically and effortlessly. When you free you conscious mind for your subconscious to work, you are allowing God and the universe to work on your behalf and to do the work through you. Free your mind and it will do wonders for you.
Enoch Tan aims to help people achieve greater awareness in living and experiencing life. To evolve human consciousness to higher levels. To change lives and create possibility. To revolutionize the way we understand the mind and reality. Because that is what governs every area of life and destiny. Get Free Ebooks of Life's Greatest Secrets and Learn Secrets Most People will Never Know about the Mind and Reality Now at: http://www.MindReality.com
There are times when you have a question about what to do make but can't seem to find the answer. You don't have to force yourself to come up with the decision in the moment. You can take a break and go do something else so that your subconscious mind can work on it. The answer will come to you as your subconscious mind pieces together the information it knows to develop the best choice that you can act on. You will become a lot more clear about what to do when that happens.
The people who accomplish the most are the ones who seem to work the least. That is because the ones that work the most are only working with half a mind. They spend so much time working consciously and not resting to let their subconscious work instead. The ones that work with a full mind do so by switching between working with their conscious mind and subconscious mind. They are able to focus their thoughts on a matter and then let it go free for awhile before returning back again.
You can be happy to know that to be successful, it is really essential to take more time for enjoyable diversion, instead of working longer and harder. Working smarter means working with your whole mind. Don't do more work with your conscious mind than is necessary or you are wasting energy. Hold your mind on what you intend to manifest and then go do something else. The more you rest by freeing your conscious mind of a matter, the more your subconscious gets to work on it.
Take time off to go do what you enjoy. Relax and have some fun. Play and chill out for awhile. Your subconscious mind will direct you in your work, making it better, easier to perform and far more pleasant. This is what it means by doing less and achieving more. There is less and less conscious effort required as everything just goes into a flow. What you do becomes easy and effortless. This is the optimal way you want to accomplish things.
The intelligence of your subconscious mind is infinitely far more than all the intelligence of your conscious mind. You don't have to worry when you do not think you have all the knowledge and awareness you need to handle a particular situation. That is the time when you can receive inspiration instead. You can never know everything consciously but you already know everything subconsciously. Worry hinders you from doing the things that would otherwise solve what you are worrying about.
Your desire sets intent in motion, which in turn attaches a line of force to your target. Now you must be drawn together like a fisherman and the fish. Once the line is cast, desire is forgotten allowing the universe or subconscious to reel you and the goal together with the least possible effort or resistance in between. Consciously you can not possibly calculate or predict completely what is required to reach your desire. Detachment and forgetfulness allows you to be led.
Detachment is the ability to close the doors of intention, to put out of the conscious mind once the working is complete. You focus your intention to perform the work and then you set it aside. Let the subconscious take over and carry it out. When you think too much about something consciously, you trigger conscious thought processes which interfere with your subconscious manifesting.
If you want something too much, and you're constantly thinking of it, you will end up pushing it away. You interrupt things just as they're about to be given to you. Once the intention is in the subconscious mind it will operate unaided. If the thought or desire comes back into your conscious mind, suppress it. Do whatever to push it back out of your mind. Don't consciously dwell on it.
The autopilot and the pilot cannot control the plane at the same time. Ease of perfection in accomplishing anything depends on how much you are able to let go of conscious control over it and allow yourself to act automatically and effortlessly. When you free you conscious mind for your subconscious to work, you are allowing God and the universe to work on your behalf and to do the work through you. Free your mind and it will do wonders for you.
Enoch Tan aims to help people achieve greater awareness in living and experiencing life. To evolve human consciousness to higher levels. To change lives and create possibility. To revolutionize the way we understand the mind and reality. Because that is what governs every area of life and destiny. Get Free Ebooks of Life's Greatest Secrets and Learn Secrets Most People will Never Know about the Mind and Reality Now at: http://www.MindReality.com
How To Turn Potential Into Success
Do you know someone with an extraordinary talent? Maybe that person is a gifted athlete, artist, or musician. Or perhaps that person has a mind for business, is a master with numbers, or knows precisely how to handle people. Although this person has these gifts that some people would die for, they never seem to use their gift to help them reach their full potential. Or maybe they are applying their skills but just can’t seem to get past a certain level of accomplishment. Maybe you know someone like that. Maybe that someone is you. Everyone has the potential to be someone great. But sometimes the journey to greatness seems so impossible most never make the trip. Others start the journey but get so discouraged by obstacles and setbacks that they give in before they reach their destination. Here are five steps you can take to harness your potential so you can get to the promise land of success.
Know where you are going.
If someone were to ask you where do you see yourself financially in 5 years what would you say? You might say something like “I’d like to have enough money to get out of debt or buy a bigger house”. Those are good goals to have but how much money is enough money? Most people generalize their goals so much that specifics of what they want aren’t clear to them. That’s like if you asked someone where they were going on their vacation and they said, “We’re going to Florida and we’re staying near a beach”. You’d probably wonder where in Florida and which beach? If that person is really planning on going to Florida they are eventually going to have to decide whether they want to go to Daytona, Miami, or Key West. Once they’ve decided to go to Miami then getting there will be easier. The same is true of your goals. Write your goals down so you can see them. The sooner you know where you are going, the sooner you will get there.
Practice Your Potential
The most common mistake that most people make on their voyage is that they are not prepared for opportunities. The reason that they are not prepared for opportunities is that they did not practice their potential. In order for you to succeed you must be prepared for success. For example consider former NBA basketball player Steve Kerr. He would practice relentlessly and shoot hundreds of shots a day. Kerr’s most memorable moment came in 1997 championship game when his teammate Michael Jordan passed him the ball and Steve made the game winning shot. Although Steve Kerr shot hundreds of shots in preparation for the games, he only attempted a few shots a game. So why practice a hundred shots if you are only going to shot a few? Because those hundreds of shots Steve Kerr took were to prepare him for that one crucial time when he would need to make one important shot. You see if you want to succeed at something you have to be prepared for that moment of success. Read up on how others have succeeded where you want to succeed and be prepared for your moment when it comes.
Develop successful habits
The difference between the people who succeed and the people who fail lie in their habits. Most people might shrug off bad habits as something they’ve always done and will always do so there is no point in changing them. The truth is the very habits that they have accepted are the very reason they have not found success in some areas of their lives. If you were a manager and you had a choice to promote two people one who had a habit of being tardy and not completing assignments. And another who was always early and saw a project through to completion, which one would you choose?
Bounce back quickly
Success is a journey. This journey is littered with obstacles and setbacks that are designed to test your resiliency. These obstacles can be discouraging and can create the feeling of failure. Once that feeling is there you may entertain thoughts of giving up the journey. In order for you to bounce back quickly you must prepare yourself for these obstacles internally and externally. Do all that you can to prevent these setbacks from happening but if they do happen, remind yourself of your goal. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you when you are tempted to give up. Keep motivational materials around also. Posting motivational quotes or reading success stories may give you that recharge that you need to keep you going. The quicker you bounce back the quicker you will reach your goal.
Keep on Succeeding
Accomplishments feel good and encourage us to continue on to where we want to go. But once we succeed there is a way to keep on succeeding. The journey of success is never boring and never easy. There is always someone out there who will look at the things you have accomplished and wish they could do the same. Helping others succeed is the best way to keep on succeeding. Since you made it through the fire and came out a success, you’ve gained a lot of experience and will probably have a lot to share. Imagine the encouragement someone will feel when you tell them the story of your success and how you made it through those same obstacles that they are now facing. Passing on knowledge, resources, and wisdom to someone who has the same vision of success that you have is one of the most rewarding feelings anyone can have.
You have the potential…now it’s time to succeed.
Ralph Jean-Paul is a motivational speaker and the founder of http://Potential2Success.com. He is a champion speaker mentored many to success. His desire to motivate people to become their best has lead him create a website with categories such as business, money, family, health, and relationships. The website’s sole purpose is to offer information, quotes, stories, and interviews so that all visitors will leave the site ready to harness their potential and turn it into success. Please visit us at http://www.Potential2Success.com or you may email Ralph directly at email@potential2success.com
Know where you are going.
If someone were to ask you where do you see yourself financially in 5 years what would you say? You might say something like “I’d like to have enough money to get out of debt or buy a bigger house”. Those are good goals to have but how much money is enough money? Most people generalize their goals so much that specifics of what they want aren’t clear to them. That’s like if you asked someone where they were going on their vacation and they said, “We’re going to Florida and we’re staying near a beach”. You’d probably wonder where in Florida and which beach? If that person is really planning on going to Florida they are eventually going to have to decide whether they want to go to Daytona, Miami, or Key West. Once they’ve decided to go to Miami then getting there will be easier. The same is true of your goals. Write your goals down so you can see them. The sooner you know where you are going, the sooner you will get there.
Practice Your Potential
The most common mistake that most people make on their voyage is that they are not prepared for opportunities. The reason that they are not prepared for opportunities is that they did not practice their potential. In order for you to succeed you must be prepared for success. For example consider former NBA basketball player Steve Kerr. He would practice relentlessly and shoot hundreds of shots a day. Kerr’s most memorable moment came in 1997 championship game when his teammate Michael Jordan passed him the ball and Steve made the game winning shot. Although Steve Kerr shot hundreds of shots in preparation for the games, he only attempted a few shots a game. So why practice a hundred shots if you are only going to shot a few? Because those hundreds of shots Steve Kerr took were to prepare him for that one crucial time when he would need to make one important shot. You see if you want to succeed at something you have to be prepared for that moment of success. Read up on how others have succeeded where you want to succeed and be prepared for your moment when it comes.
Develop successful habits
The difference between the people who succeed and the people who fail lie in their habits. Most people might shrug off bad habits as something they’ve always done and will always do so there is no point in changing them. The truth is the very habits that they have accepted are the very reason they have not found success in some areas of their lives. If you were a manager and you had a choice to promote two people one who had a habit of being tardy and not completing assignments. And another who was always early and saw a project through to completion, which one would you choose?
Bounce back quickly
Success is a journey. This journey is littered with obstacles and setbacks that are designed to test your resiliency. These obstacles can be discouraging and can create the feeling of failure. Once that feeling is there you may entertain thoughts of giving up the journey. In order for you to bounce back quickly you must prepare yourself for these obstacles internally and externally. Do all that you can to prevent these setbacks from happening but if they do happen, remind yourself of your goal. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you when you are tempted to give up. Keep motivational materials around also. Posting motivational quotes or reading success stories may give you that recharge that you need to keep you going. The quicker you bounce back the quicker you will reach your goal.
Keep on Succeeding
Accomplishments feel good and encourage us to continue on to where we want to go. But once we succeed there is a way to keep on succeeding. The journey of success is never boring and never easy. There is always someone out there who will look at the things you have accomplished and wish they could do the same. Helping others succeed is the best way to keep on succeeding. Since you made it through the fire and came out a success, you’ve gained a lot of experience and will probably have a lot to share. Imagine the encouragement someone will feel when you tell them the story of your success and how you made it through those same obstacles that they are now facing. Passing on knowledge, resources, and wisdom to someone who has the same vision of success that you have is one of the most rewarding feelings anyone can have.
You have the potential…now it’s time to succeed.
Ralph Jean-Paul is a motivational speaker and the founder of http://Potential2Success.com. He is a champion speaker mentored many to success. His desire to motivate people to become their best has lead him create a website with categories such as business, money, family, health, and relationships. The website’s sole purpose is to offer information, quotes, stories, and interviews so that all visitors will leave the site ready to harness their potential and turn it into success. Please visit us at http://www.Potential2Success.com or you may email Ralph directly at email@potential2success.com
How To Be A More Motivational Manager
Would you like to know the secrets of motivating your staff? Of course you would. I mean, who wouldn't?
Well this is what it takes.
It may appear that all great motivational managers know the secrets to improving an employees performance. But what these great managers know is no secret at all: everything you ever needed to know about enhancing the productivity of your staff is actually contained in a few simple techniques that are guaranteed to increase the efficiency of your department/service/business.
5 Things That Every Great Manager Knows.
These five things are not profit margin, gains, losses, tax deductions, or assets - but instead are the human factors of management.
You cannot put a price or value on the factors that drive an employees performance. This is because most people remain with an employer because of the quality and satisfaction derived from a rewarding and balanced workplace.
Great managers recognize and respect this "x factor" of the business world and work to improve it with these simple tips.
1. Motivation - Every employee is unique; therefore the motivation to perform better will be different for each person. Know your staff and identify the motivator for each employee and provide opportunities that encourage their interest and performance.
2. Setting Goals - Make sure you have a vision for how you want your department, service or business to operate now and in the future. Communicate your vision to your employees so that they are directing their energies toward a common goal. They will feel like they are a part of the business and this will enhance performance.
3. Praise - Take advantage of big and small opportunities to praise your employees for work well done. Your recognition of their performance means a lot and it is important that you acknowledge their efforts.
4. Feedback - Be lavish with praise but selfish with criticisms -but do offer kind words of constructive feedback that makes your employees feel respected and valued.
5. Management - Be available as a resource to your employees. They should feel comfortable to approach you with questions and concerns and not feel as if they are imposing on your time. They should be able to depend upon you for guidance and as a model of what excellent performance is all about.
A Last Word...
As you can see, there is no one secret to improving the performance level of employees. You can start today with these simple tips that are easy to implement into the everyday workings of your department. After all, your employees and business deserve anything and everything that will help them flourish and continue to grow.
Andrew Rondeau is a leading Management & Leadership Strategist and offers Management/Leadership Mentoring and Coaching Services.
About The Author:
Andrew is the author of several ground breaking e-Books including 'Accelerate Your Management Effectiveness', 'How To Get A Standing Ovation Every Time You Publicly Present' and 'Learn The Secrets Of Time Management'. http://www.andrewrondeau.co.uk
Well this is what it takes.
It may appear that all great motivational managers know the secrets to improving an employees performance. But what these great managers know is no secret at all: everything you ever needed to know about enhancing the productivity of your staff is actually contained in a few simple techniques that are guaranteed to increase the efficiency of your department/service/business.
5 Things That Every Great Manager Knows.
These five things are not profit margin, gains, losses, tax deductions, or assets - but instead are the human factors of management.
You cannot put a price or value on the factors that drive an employees performance. This is because most people remain with an employer because of the quality and satisfaction derived from a rewarding and balanced workplace.
Great managers recognize and respect this "x factor" of the business world and work to improve it with these simple tips.
1. Motivation - Every employee is unique; therefore the motivation to perform better will be different for each person. Know your staff and identify the motivator for each employee and provide opportunities that encourage their interest and performance.
2. Setting Goals - Make sure you have a vision for how you want your department, service or business to operate now and in the future. Communicate your vision to your employees so that they are directing their energies toward a common goal. They will feel like they are a part of the business and this will enhance performance.
3. Praise - Take advantage of big and small opportunities to praise your employees for work well done. Your recognition of their performance means a lot and it is important that you acknowledge their efforts.
4. Feedback - Be lavish with praise but selfish with criticisms -but do offer kind words of constructive feedback that makes your employees feel respected and valued.
5. Management - Be available as a resource to your employees. They should feel comfortable to approach you with questions and concerns and not feel as if they are imposing on your time. They should be able to depend upon you for guidance and as a model of what excellent performance is all about.
A Last Word...
As you can see, there is no one secret to improving the performance level of employees. You can start today with these simple tips that are easy to implement into the everyday workings of your department. After all, your employees and business deserve anything and everything that will help them flourish and continue to grow.
Andrew Rondeau is a leading Management & Leadership Strategist and offers Management/Leadership Mentoring and Coaching Services.
About The Author:
Andrew is the author of several ground breaking e-Books including 'Accelerate Your Management Effectiveness', 'How To Get A Standing Ovation Every Time You Publicly Present' and 'Learn The Secrets Of Time Management'. http://www.andrewrondeau.co.uk
The Three Strangest Reasons For Procrastination
Have you ever wondered why you procrastinate? Procrastination is indeed a very strange behaviour and is a trap that all of us tend to fall into from time to time. On a conscious level you might want to do something or achieve something and although you know what you have to do, you still can’t seem to get yourself to actually do it. It’s almost like there is some ‘invisible force’ that prevents you from taking action and you can’t quite explain what it is - from a rational perspective at least.
Although it might appear that there is no logical explanation for this seemingly irrational behaviour, there are still reasons for procrastination. These reasons, however are not always that obvious. Human behaviour is not haphazard or coincidental - everything we do we do for a reason. In fact, everything we do, we do for a positive intent. Everything that you do is driven by your desire to improve your circumstances at some level of your consciousness. It is impossible for someone to do something that she believes will leave her worse off. For some people this might mean killing themselves, while for others it might mean climbing a mountain, while for others it might mean giving up a bad habit. It all varies according to our beliefs.
This is a very important concept to understand if you are to understand the reasons for procrastination. Although there are many reasons on the surface as to why you procrastinate, the underlying reason always boils down to one factor: FEAR. Fear is what shuts you down and prevents you from taking action. By design fear is there to ‘help’ you and whenever you fear something you will be compelled to prevent an encounter with whatever you fear.
Although fear is the underlying factor behind procrastination, we tend to see certain common fears amongst procrastinators. Here are the three most common reasons for procrastination and the fears that we subconsciously attach to them:
Fear #1: The Fear Of Failure
When you fear failure you are inclined to avoid participating in the first place. The common association is that ‘if I don’t do it, then I can’t fail and no one can judge me’. This is very prominent amongst procrastinators and they often hide behind the perfectionism frame. They will wait for things to be perfect until they take action, so they keep postponing tasks waiting for the ‘right time’ before they take action. Out of the fear of failing and looking bad, they would often spend vast amounts of time on a project without making any real progress because at a subconscious level they don’t ‘want to’ finish – a finished project will make them vulnerable for criticism and consequently failure. The result is that they always find ‘good reasons’ to postpone or even avoid the tasks all together.
Fear #2: The Fear Of Unpleasant Or Painful Experiences
If you believe that some action will lead to a painful or unpleasant experience then you will feel compelled not to do it. Your nervous system is designed to avoid painful experiences. The ironic thing is that we get to decide what we believe, and what will be ‘painful’ experiences. Unfortunately for most of us, our beliefs were ‘installed’ by default and we learned by association. Through experience we ‘learned’ by our results and we tend to use this limited information form (mostly) past experiences to make up future meanings and we start imagining potential consequences to the point where we actually believe them. If you believe that some action will lead to a painful or unpleasant experience, you will avoid it, regardless of whether your association is accurate or not. What you believe is what’s real for you and this is what you will act upon.
Fear #3: The Fear Of Missing Out
In the frenzy of modern living we all want to get a piece of the action. We simply cannot help it. Every day we get bombarded with numerous opportunities and it seems like the media’s sole mission is to get our attention. The challenge is that we don’t want to miss out – no one wants to be left behind and miss out on what everybody else is gaining from. The challenge with this is that we tend to take on way too much, to the point where we get overwhelmed. When you feel overwhelmed, the natural reaction is to shut down and the result is usually procrastination. When you overload yourself with too many things that you ‘have to do’ you simply cannot deal with all of it and procrastination comes to your ‘aid’. Like a breaker switch in an electric current, procrastination will kick in when the load becomes too heavy.
These three factors are by no means the only reasons for procrastination, but it is definitely some of the most common. An awareness of these fears in itself can help you to overcome procrastination. Realize that F.E.A.R is only an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real and most of your fears are only imaginary. You can break through your fears and take action. It is your ultimate power to direct and steer your life. Don’t allow procrastination and indecision to keep you immobilized. Keep moving forward. Keep taking action.
Author Deon Du Plessis (Overcoming-Procrastination.Com) is a specialist in the field of behavioral psychology and author of the acclaimed Course Of Action, a (free) eCourse designed to compel you to action and make your ideas real. Enroll now
If You Want To Be Successful Then You Have To Get Out Of The Way
Trying to force success can actually prevent it. Successful people learn the art of getting into the right river and then going with the flow. If you fight the natural laws of success then no matter how hard you try you will not become successful.
Set the Right Goal for Your Own Happiness
When you set a goal make sure that it is a goal that you want to achieve not a goal that you are setting because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Ask yourself if achieving that goal will really enhance your life or not. For example, so many people end up in a profession that they don't like because they are following their parents' goal or their teacher's goal for their life.
Look at the goals that you have set in the past and see if there is a pattern of setting goals that you truly want or if you have been setting other peoples' goals.
Start Working Toward Your Goal Immediately Whether You Are Ready to or Not
The worse thing you can do is not to start working toward that goal immediately that you set it. If you are waiting until you are prepared then you are trying to force the goal and you are fighting against nature.
Just start. Follow your intuition and do whatever comes into your mind as a starting step. You can refine what you are doing as you go. If however you try to preplan the entire process then you are not allowing the flexibility required to respond to what is actually happening in the world. Forcing it doesn't work. The best way to start is to just start.
Have Total Faith that You Will Achieve Your Goal
Have total faith that the universe will provide you with all the opportunity that you need in order to achieve your goal. Have total faith that your goal will actually become a reality for you.
Most people don't really believe that they will get their goals; they hope that they will get them. Hope will not do it. Hope is not enough. In fact hope is the worst thing that you can have, because when you hope for something there is always an underlying belief that it won't actually happen.
Hope is a belief that you will have to go against all probability in order to achieve it. People hope that they will win money but they don't. People hope that their life will get better but it doesn't. People hope that they will meet mister or miss right but they never do.
Develop faith by spending 5 to 10 minutes, 3 times each day, building an image in your mind of you actually living your goal.
Open Your Mind to Receiving Guidance and Help
Keep your mind open to the idea that the opportunities that you will need are going to show up in your life. Then when the opportunity does come along make sure that you take it. Learn to recognize what opportunity actually looks like. Realize that sometimes opportunity comes to you disguised as a problem or difficulty.
Keep your mind open to the idea that the teachers you need will show up in your life and when they do make sure that you learn from them. Accept that you may have to pay for these lessons, you may have to enroll in courses or seminars or coaching or mentoring. You may have to buy and read books or buy and listen to audio programs.
Observe the Outcomes of Your Activity
Follow your intuition but keep an eye on what the outcomes of your actions are. If the outcomes are not taking you closer to your goals then modify your actions. As I said earlier, each step along the road to success cannot be preplanned. Take your step and they see where it is taking you. You may wander to the left or to the right of the correct path but if you keep your eyes open then you won't go far off track before you make a course correction.
In Conclusion
Remember and use this five step formula; set the right goals, start working toward them immediately, have total faith that you will achieve them, keep your mind open to guidance and help, and observe your outcomes.
James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his
ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind"
(valued at $27) completely FREE.
Go to http://www.YourSuccessMind.com
Set the Right Goal for Your Own Happiness
When you set a goal make sure that it is a goal that you want to achieve not a goal that you are setting because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Ask yourself if achieving that goal will really enhance your life or not. For example, so many people end up in a profession that they don't like because they are following their parents' goal or their teacher's goal for their life.
Look at the goals that you have set in the past and see if there is a pattern of setting goals that you truly want or if you have been setting other peoples' goals.
Start Working Toward Your Goal Immediately Whether You Are Ready to or Not
The worse thing you can do is not to start working toward that goal immediately that you set it. If you are waiting until you are prepared then you are trying to force the goal and you are fighting against nature.
Just start. Follow your intuition and do whatever comes into your mind as a starting step. You can refine what you are doing as you go. If however you try to preplan the entire process then you are not allowing the flexibility required to respond to what is actually happening in the world. Forcing it doesn't work. The best way to start is to just start.
Have Total Faith that You Will Achieve Your Goal
Have total faith that the universe will provide you with all the opportunity that you need in order to achieve your goal. Have total faith that your goal will actually become a reality for you.
Most people don't really believe that they will get their goals; they hope that they will get them. Hope will not do it. Hope is not enough. In fact hope is the worst thing that you can have, because when you hope for something there is always an underlying belief that it won't actually happen.
Hope is a belief that you will have to go against all probability in order to achieve it. People hope that they will win money but they don't. People hope that their life will get better but it doesn't. People hope that they will meet mister or miss right but they never do.
Develop faith by spending 5 to 10 minutes, 3 times each day, building an image in your mind of you actually living your goal.
Open Your Mind to Receiving Guidance and Help
Keep your mind open to the idea that the opportunities that you will need are going to show up in your life. Then when the opportunity does come along make sure that you take it. Learn to recognize what opportunity actually looks like. Realize that sometimes opportunity comes to you disguised as a problem or difficulty.
Keep your mind open to the idea that the teachers you need will show up in your life and when they do make sure that you learn from them. Accept that you may have to pay for these lessons, you may have to enroll in courses or seminars or coaching or mentoring. You may have to buy and read books or buy and listen to audio programs.
Observe the Outcomes of Your Activity
Follow your intuition but keep an eye on what the outcomes of your actions are. If the outcomes are not taking you closer to your goals then modify your actions. As I said earlier, each step along the road to success cannot be preplanned. Take your step and they see where it is taking you. You may wander to the left or to the right of the correct path but if you keep your eyes open then you won't go far off track before you make a course correction.
In Conclusion
Remember and use this five step formula; set the right goals, start working toward them immediately, have total faith that you will achieve them, keep your mind open to guidance and help, and observe your outcomes.
James Delrojo would like to help you by giving you his
ebook "Unleash the Success Power of Your Mind"
(valued at $27) completely FREE.
Go to http://www.YourSuccessMind.com
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