Everybody is able to define success in their own eyes, maybe it's owning a nice house, having a happy marriage or
earning a large sum of money. However, very few people seem to be able to achieve the level of success that they
desire. Some claim that there a physical barriers to that success and whilst this may be true if say a paraplegic person
wanted to swim around the world, for most of us there is no real physical barrier, we are just making excuses. Today I am
here to tell you about excuses and how they are detrimental to your dreams of success!
Whenever you try to do something that is hard it is a natural response for your mind to start crafting an excuse to get out
of it. Many times your mind finds its new excuse powerful enough to actually prevent you from doing whatever you were attempting.
You then back down from the challenge and feel annoyed that you "wussed out". To succeed, you must learn to essentially
shut off the excuse creating part of your brain or at least completely ignore what it is saying. For example, you try
to quit smoking and your brain sends you messages saying "you'd feel so much better if you had just one ciggarette."
If you fall into your own trap then you will likely smoke again and continue on a path of worsening health. However,
if you reply to your brain with "a ciggarette may make me feel better now, but it will hurt me down the track" then you
will be able to fight the temptation by thinking of the long term effects which are usually more significant than
the short term ones. Basically, what I am getting at is that you need a "counter-excuse" to fight any excuse that your brain
may try and come up with. When you first start this may seem hard, but keep trying to create these "counter-excuses"
because once you have the ability to create them you will find it ten times easier to achieve your goals and progress towards
the level of success you desire. Virtually nobody has the ability to shut off the part of their brain that creates
excuses but everybody can create "counter-excuses" - it just takes a bit of practice.
So you can improve your "counter-excuse" technique, here are some excuses that you should attempt to counter :
1) "I won't do my homework because it's a waste of time"
2) "I won't start my diet today because I'm going out with friends tonight"
3) "I won't take part in that marathon because it will wear me out"
4) "I won't invest that extra money I earnt because I will probably loose it on the investment"
The counter excuses I came up for the above are :
1) "That homework may be boring but it will expand my knowledge and help me in my exams so I can acheive a better result"
2) "If I put off my diet today then I will probably put it off tomorrow and never get around to doing it. I am determined
to start now!"
3) "I am going to take part in the marathon because it will be good for my health and I will be able to say "I completed
it" thus rasing my self-esteem."
4) "I'm going to invest that money because if I don't it will just get spent on a new television or computer. If I
invest I have the chance to create more money and if I loose it then I will have learnt important lessons about risk taking
and investment.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
How To Have Your Final Smoke Today - Forever
Take it from someone who has learnt how to stop smoking after 17 years; you have to make the decision to have your final smoke.
I wrote in a previous article about the necessity to get your mind right first when considering how to stop smoking. It is like anything in life, if you go at this uncommitted you will fail. It took me three months, maybe even longer to have my final smoke. When I first sat down and asked myself the 'how do I stop smoking?' question, I set in motion a thought process that led me to smoke free living.
Every single time I had a cigarette, I would be thinking about stopping. I would think about every single reason I should stop, no matter how trivial, and I would repeat each reason to myself over and over again. Think about someone you have seen have a cigarette for the first time. What happens? They cough and splutter violently, of course much to the amusement of those around them but the point is this is not a natural thing for the body to be doing.
I realized I had forced my mind and body into this filthy habit and I could get myself out of it too. Now, I am not talking about going at it cold turkey, what I am saying is the answer to 'how do I stop smoking?' is in the grey matter between your ears. If you use a quit smoking product, whether a patch, gum or pill, you are expecting the product to do the work for you. This is why many quit smoking products, even one like Final Smoke, fail people.
Pre-quitting before you have your final smoke
The key is not to make a big deal of it. Just set a date, sooner rather than later, and stick to this date. Avoid making it a Monday, if possible, as this is usually a bad day for everyone. The less significant you can make this date, the easier it may be.
Many people fail to quit because they use their irritability as a crutch and in a lot of cases they annoy the people around them so much that eventually someone might say something like, “I will go buy a pack for you if you just stop such a pain”. Let your friends and family know you are making a 'do or die' attempt to quit so they know how to help you to stop smoking.
There are no easy answers to the 'how to stop smoking?' question but knowing ahead of time what can be expected will help tremendously. Remember this, there are many other people around the world who have beaten this unnecessary addiction and gone on to live happier and healthier lives.
You can do it! And once you have achieved your goal to stop smoking you'll be staggered at how incredible you will feel. You'll be proud of your accomplishment and be an inspiration to other smokers who want to know how to quit for good.
About The Author:
Find your answer to the 'how to stop smoking' question, make your decision to live a healthier life and then find out more about how Final Smoke can help you kick the habit today - forever! at http://www.finalsmoketoday.com/
I wrote in a previous article about the necessity to get your mind right first when considering how to stop smoking. It is like anything in life, if you go at this uncommitted you will fail. It took me three months, maybe even longer to have my final smoke. When I first sat down and asked myself the 'how do I stop smoking?' question, I set in motion a thought process that led me to smoke free living.
Every single time I had a cigarette, I would be thinking about stopping. I would think about every single reason I should stop, no matter how trivial, and I would repeat each reason to myself over and over again. Think about someone you have seen have a cigarette for the first time. What happens? They cough and splutter violently, of course much to the amusement of those around them but the point is this is not a natural thing for the body to be doing.
I realized I had forced my mind and body into this filthy habit and I could get myself out of it too. Now, I am not talking about going at it cold turkey, what I am saying is the answer to 'how do I stop smoking?' is in the grey matter between your ears. If you use a quit smoking product, whether a patch, gum or pill, you are expecting the product to do the work for you. This is why many quit smoking products, even one like Final Smoke, fail people.
Pre-quitting before you have your final smoke
The key is not to make a big deal of it. Just set a date, sooner rather than later, and stick to this date. Avoid making it a Monday, if possible, as this is usually a bad day for everyone. The less significant you can make this date, the easier it may be.
Many people fail to quit because they use their irritability as a crutch and in a lot of cases they annoy the people around them so much that eventually someone might say something like, “I will go buy a pack for you if you just stop such a pain”. Let your friends and family know you are making a 'do or die' attempt to quit so they know how to help you to stop smoking.
There are no easy answers to the 'how to stop smoking?' question but knowing ahead of time what can be expected will help tremendously. Remember this, there are many other people around the world who have beaten this unnecessary addiction and gone on to live happier and healthier lives.
You can do it! And once you have achieved your goal to stop smoking you'll be staggered at how incredible you will feel. You'll be proud of your accomplishment and be an inspiration to other smokers who want to know how to quit for good.
About The Author:
Find your answer to the 'how to stop smoking' question, make your decision to live a healthier life and then find out more about how Final Smoke can help you kick the habit today - forever! at http://www.finalsmoketoday.com/
Dealing With Criticism And Difference In Opinion
Why this is important
We often become emotionally disturbed during a disagreement, or an argument, or when someone criticizes us or disagrees with us. In such cases our personality usually feels hurt, demeaned and in danger.
When we feel this way, we destroy our own happiness, clarity and health and often behave in ways which we later regret.
A simple technique for gaining clarity is to:
1. Remember that concerning criticism, there are two possibilities:
a. The other person might be correct in his or her observations and criticism. In this case we would benefit by admitting it and making the proper adjustment in our behavior. We have everything to gain by listening and evolving through others’ comments.
What prevents us is the belief that we are not lovable if we are not perfect. Thus, we do not want to see or admit our faults. When we realize that we are worthy of love and respect even when we are not perfect or right, then we will be able to look at our faults.
b. The other person might be wrong. In this case, it is his or her projection, and we need not be affected by these misconceptions or projections. We have in this case the lesson of loving ourselves and also the others even when they perceive us in distorted and negative ways.
2. One solution would be simply not to react one way or the other at first, but to reflect upon what has been said for some time so as to evaluate whether or not it is true.
We can establish a space in our minds where we can store such questions about our personality structure or actions so as to observe objectively for ourselves if they are true. If they are not, then we simply continue on in the way we were.
We need not feel hurt, angry, defend ourselves, prove ourselves, or attack. When we feel inner security and self-worth, we do not need to react in these ways.
3. We can simply thank the other for this feedback and tell him or her that we will think about this observation and will gradually come to our conclusions, and if necessary, make changes.
We do not need to live our lives in accordance with others’ perceptions. We can listen to all, but follow ourselves.
Note:
A "thank you" is enough.
(Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy)
About The Author:
Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony. Download wonderful ebooks, 100's of free articles, courses, and mp3 audio lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. Find 8 of his books at http://www.Amazon.com
We often become emotionally disturbed during a disagreement, or an argument, or when someone criticizes us or disagrees with us. In such cases our personality usually feels hurt, demeaned and in danger.
When we feel this way, we destroy our own happiness, clarity and health and often behave in ways which we later regret.
A simple technique for gaining clarity is to:
1. Remember that concerning criticism, there are two possibilities:
a. The other person might be correct in his or her observations and criticism. In this case we would benefit by admitting it and making the proper adjustment in our behavior. We have everything to gain by listening and evolving through others’ comments.
What prevents us is the belief that we are not lovable if we are not perfect. Thus, we do not want to see or admit our faults. When we realize that we are worthy of love and respect even when we are not perfect or right, then we will be able to look at our faults.
b. The other person might be wrong. In this case, it is his or her projection, and we need not be affected by these misconceptions or projections. We have in this case the lesson of loving ourselves and also the others even when they perceive us in distorted and negative ways.
2. One solution would be simply not to react one way or the other at first, but to reflect upon what has been said for some time so as to evaluate whether or not it is true.
We can establish a space in our minds where we can store such questions about our personality structure or actions so as to observe objectively for ourselves if they are true. If they are not, then we simply continue on in the way we were.
We need not feel hurt, angry, defend ourselves, prove ourselves, or attack. When we feel inner security and self-worth, we do not need to react in these ways.
3. We can simply thank the other for this feedback and tell him or her that we will think about this observation and will gradually come to our conclusions, and if necessary, make changes.
We do not need to live our lives in accordance with others’ perceptions. We can listen to all, but follow ourselves.
Note:
A "thank you" is enough.
(Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy)
About The Author:
Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony. Download wonderful ebooks, 100's of free articles, courses, and mp3 audio lectures at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. Find 8 of his books at http://www.Amazon.com
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Anger Management Techniques - How To Control Your Anger
Gain Control Of Your Anger Now With These Steps:
1. Breathe deep and long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you're angry you're panicking. This will help you to calm down.
2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you're doing your deep breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have a soothing effect.
3. Do some stretches. When you're angry your body gets tense and rigid. The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you clear your thoughts.
4. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and why. Don't be nice, reasonable or rational. The point is to get your anger out on the paper, to purge it from your mind. Keep writing until you feel some relief or release, and don't stop until you do. For more help with this type of exercise, check out this book.
5. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate about your life, your self and (if you can) the person you are mad at. For help with this, check out Dr. DeFoore's newsletter GOODFINDING, or his GOODFINDING CD.
6. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were gone?
7. If you know how, pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.
8. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their shoes. Look at the situation from their viewpoint. How do you look to them? Is that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act as if you were that already.
9. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying "It's okay. I'm here. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good kid. I love you just like you are. I'm not going to leave you." Then take the child (your child self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or even play. Learn about the Nurturing Your Inner Child CD or download.
10. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the world to you. Who are the most important people in the world to you? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? Decide that you are that person and you are living by your values, and act as if it were so. This is the fastest way to change your emotions, and it puts you in touch with your true nature, the way you were designed to be.
Remember, inside, you are a good person who wants to help. Think, act and make decisions from that good person that you are, and you can't go wrong!
1. Breathe deep and long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you're angry you're panicking. This will help you to calm down.
2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you're doing your deep breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have a soothing effect.
3. Do some stretches. When you're angry your body gets tense and rigid. The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you clear your thoughts.
4. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and why. Don't be nice, reasonable or rational. The point is to get your anger out on the paper, to purge it from your mind. Keep writing until you feel some relief or release, and don't stop until you do. For more help with this type of exercise, check out this book.
5. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate about your life, your self and (if you can) the person you are mad at. For help with this, check out Dr. DeFoore's newsletter GOODFINDING, or his GOODFINDING CD.
6. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were gone?
7. If you know how, pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.
8. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their shoes. Look at the situation from their viewpoint. How do you look to them? Is that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act as if you were that already.
9. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying "It's okay. I'm here. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good kid. I love you just like you are. I'm not going to leave you." Then take the child (your child self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or even play. Learn about the Nurturing Your Inner Child CD or download.
10. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the world to you. Who are the most important people in the world to you? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? Decide that you are that person and you are living by your values, and act as if it were so. This is the fastest way to change your emotions, and it puts you in touch with your true nature, the way you were designed to be.
Remember, inside, you are a good person who wants to help. Think, act and make decisions from that good person that you are, and you can't go wrong!
Public Speaking Anxiety - 4 Ways To Beat It
Calls for "Speech, Speech" can send many men and women into panic and fear. Others may be given an assignment to present information before a group and feel overwhelmed by public speaking anxiety in the run up to the presentation.
The 4 key suggestions here will do much alleviate the problem and assist anyone to control and overcome public speaking anxiety:
1. Thorough Preparation
The biggest antidote to audience fear? Thorough preparation! There is no short-cut.
If you have carefully researched your material so you are convinced it is worth delivering, and you firmly believe your audience needs to hear it, and you have practiced and practiced the delivery, you can stand up in front of an audience with confidence!
2. Breathing
Control nervousness by taking deep breaths to relax the body. Concentrate on your message and the things you have prepared to present to your audience rather than on your nervousness.
Use positive speech, even in your own thoughts. Instead of saying to yourself, "Boy, do I feel nervous", which only reinforces the feeling, say, "My adrenaline is pumping and I'm going to use it to deliver an unforgettable presentation!"
3. Confidence Visualized
To increase confidence and combat uncertainty use visualization techniques. These can be VERY effective.
Running through the whole presentation including the approach to the speaker's stand, the initial pause, the first few sentences, over and over again in your mind, will create great confidence.
4. End Result Visualization
Include the end result in your visualization exercise.
See yourself having successfully concluded an excellent presentation with the applause of the audience in your ears. See the smiles, hear the compliments afterwards and make them real in your mind.
In a TV interview, Mohammed Ali once explained how he prepared for a fight. He would concentrate his mind on imagining actually being there in the ring, in the stadium, at the venue. He would see himself there at the end of the fight, victorious.
He created a very real scene in his mind with the smells, feelings, sounds, sights, he expected to experience at that moment. He used the phrase 'Future History' to describe what he created in his mind.
Why not create a 'Future History' for yourself before your next presentation and see how it triggers the necessary energy to overcome any feelings of self-doubt.
It may be unrealistic for some individuals to think they will conquer public speaking anxiety completely. Perhaps some public speakers with many years experience can walk in front of an audience without any nervousness at all.
For the majority however, who may only be called on occasionally to speak before a group or an audience, there will always be some anxiety. A realistic expectation regarding public speaking anxiety and following the suggestions above can however do much to control it so it does not overwhelm the speaker.
Michael A. Jones has compiled an inexpensive coaching manual complete with Analysis Questionnaire:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-coaching-manual.htm
Michael has also personally benefited from this Public Speaking Course ranked No. 1:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-course.htm
For personal development listen to "The Program Of Presidents":
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/personal-development.html
The 4 key suggestions here will do much alleviate the problem and assist anyone to control and overcome public speaking anxiety:
1. Thorough Preparation
The biggest antidote to audience fear? Thorough preparation! There is no short-cut.
If you have carefully researched your material so you are convinced it is worth delivering, and you firmly believe your audience needs to hear it, and you have practiced and practiced the delivery, you can stand up in front of an audience with confidence!
2. Breathing
Control nervousness by taking deep breaths to relax the body. Concentrate on your message and the things you have prepared to present to your audience rather than on your nervousness.
Use positive speech, even in your own thoughts. Instead of saying to yourself, "Boy, do I feel nervous", which only reinforces the feeling, say, "My adrenaline is pumping and I'm going to use it to deliver an unforgettable presentation!"
3. Confidence Visualized
To increase confidence and combat uncertainty use visualization techniques. These can be VERY effective.
Running through the whole presentation including the approach to the speaker's stand, the initial pause, the first few sentences, over and over again in your mind, will create great confidence.
4. End Result Visualization
Include the end result in your visualization exercise.
See yourself having successfully concluded an excellent presentation with the applause of the audience in your ears. See the smiles, hear the compliments afterwards and make them real in your mind.
In a TV interview, Mohammed Ali once explained how he prepared for a fight. He would concentrate his mind on imagining actually being there in the ring, in the stadium, at the venue. He would see himself there at the end of the fight, victorious.
He created a very real scene in his mind with the smells, feelings, sounds, sights, he expected to experience at that moment. He used the phrase 'Future History' to describe what he created in his mind.
Why not create a 'Future History' for yourself before your next presentation and see how it triggers the necessary energy to overcome any feelings of self-doubt.
It may be unrealistic for some individuals to think they will conquer public speaking anxiety completely. Perhaps some public speakers with many years experience can walk in front of an audience without any nervousness at all.
For the majority however, who may only be called on occasionally to speak before a group or an audience, there will always be some anxiety. A realistic expectation regarding public speaking anxiety and following the suggestions above can however do much to control it so it does not overwhelm the speaker.
Michael A. Jones has compiled an inexpensive coaching manual complete with Analysis Questionnaire:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-coaching-manual.htm
Michael has also personally benefited from this Public Speaking Course ranked No. 1:
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/public-speaking-course.htm
For personal development listen to "The Program Of Presidents":
http://www.about-goal-setting.com/personal-development.html
How To Eliminate Stress From Your Life
What is it? Stress is tension. When you are stressed, your body tenses up, you are less relaxed, you are more irritable, more critical, less creative, less productive, more overwhelmed, and your over-all lowered state of health. Mental, emotional and physical health.
It is the single thing that is extraordinarily simple to change, but plays all the difference in your life. Most people have a unique set of causes for stress, but from my experience living in a high-stress environment, there are certain things that I've found to be most helpful.
In no particular order, here are some of the best ways to get rid of stress:
1. Physical Activity (No less than 30 minutes moderate or 15 minutes intense)
- The more stressed you are, the more active you should be every day
2. Listen to some high-energy music (for me, party music and metal work the best)
3. Listen to some relaxing sounds (slow music or natural sounds like wind or waves)
4. Take up a hobby (anything you enjoy doing, hopefully constructive)
5. Have a goal to work toward
- Direction in your life helps you clear up most turmoil and handle anything that comes your way with greater ease
- Anything you encounter is either for or against your efforts toward that goal
6. Spend time with like-minded people
- When you are with people who you trust, who understand you and are willing to listen, you are more likely to talk to them and open up. Talking is a natural mechanism that relieves stress. For some reason, talking about your problems makes it easier to deal with them.
- Being in the company of friends will make you more likely to be in a good vibe with them. Social vibing is another human mechanism that causes people to feel good. Having fun and laughing always make you feel better. When you feel good, all your stresses go away.
7. Express creativity as much as possible
- Some examples: painting, writing, designing, sculpting, problem solving, building, models
8. Self-Improvement
- Develop a new skill. Learn to do something new. Find out how to do something better. Your improved value and ability, and most importantly your sense of accomplishment will make you feel good. When you feel good, your stresses seem to go away.
9. Help Others
- Giving is actually a selfish thing. When you donate to someone else, you are doing it because you feel good when you do. Therefore, you give so that you would feel good. This is the only time when you will hear me say that you should be as selfish as you like.
- Some of the ways you can help others: solving problems, fixing stuff, teaching, public service, become a firefighter, start a charity, organize a service group to address your community's issues and needs, cheer up lonely people, put something interesting into someone else's life, tutor or mentor someone for free, and the very best way to help others is by supporting my website! For ideas of how you can help, check out the contributions page of RarelyPublished.com
10. Get Laid
(this one should be self-explanatory, but since they don't teach you this in school, do some research online and buy a dating ebook. For guys, make sure you check out David Deangelo's "Double Your Dating". For ladies, if you need help here, then you're probably a b*tch or out of shape. Exercise and friendlier behavior may help and if you need style tips, find the prettiest dressed woman you know, and invite her to go clothes-shopping with you.)
11. Do some cleaning
- When you're cleaning, first of all, you're improving your life quality. Next, and actually, more importantly, it is symbolic of getting your life straightened out. Why exactly it works, I don't know. It just does.
12. Start something
- Not only will the result of your labors give you pride, but it will be adding value to the earth as a whole, even if a small bit, its still more value than there was before you started. Just think, you are the one adding value to the world. You did it. It's your accomplishment. You did it!
13. Change of Attitude
- Everyone could use a positive outlook on life, one where you recognize the opportunities and make the best out of anything that doesn't go as planned. It's not living in a fantasy world. It's just making the best of what you've got. Always. It's not an activity you do for once or twice a day. It's all in how you look at life. If this is something you're interested in and want more details on, send me an email (contact info on website).
- Don't whine or complain at all. Ever. COMPLAINING IS A GIANT CRAP MAGNET, AND CRAP DOESN'T TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. CRAP TRAVELS AT THE SPEED OF CRAP, AND THAT'S REALLY REALLY SLOW!! This is just a simple change you can do to make your frame of mind work for the better. That means doing something about your problems rather than whining about them.
- Remember the old saying "Coulda, shoulda, woulda..."? Well, if that's what you say, that's what you'll keep saying about yourself. Change you're frame of mind by not using those words in your vocabulary. Never regret the past. Learn from it and move forward. Replace the words "could", "would", and "should" (life happened to me attitude) with "can" and "will" (I control my life attitude). So next time you catch yourself using any of the three regret words, stop, and rephrase yourself with a can-do frame of mind.
14. Relax
- Un-tense your muscles (imagine all of them loosening from head to toe, one area at a time)
- Let go. There will always be more where that came from. Clinging on to something always makes you tense. Unless your life is directly at stake, attachment will probably increase your stress. This is fixed by letting go.
- Don't try to control anything but yourself
- Treat your "Chicken-Little-OMFG-The-Sky-Is-Falling Syndrome" (aka an exaggerated sense of danger/importance in areas outside of true life-or-death situations)
- Clear your mind
- Feel good (smile!)
About the Author:
Author of Explode Your Memory - A Total Manual to Memory Mastery, Duke Xenner runs a website devoted to personal development & life improvement. Be sure to check out his website for more cool resources: www.RarelyPublished.com - Personal Development & Life Improvement Portal
It is the single thing that is extraordinarily simple to change, but plays all the difference in your life. Most people have a unique set of causes for stress, but from my experience living in a high-stress environment, there are certain things that I've found to be most helpful.
In no particular order, here are some of the best ways to get rid of stress:
1. Physical Activity (No less than 30 minutes moderate or 15 minutes intense)
- The more stressed you are, the more active you should be every day
2. Listen to some high-energy music (for me, party music and metal work the best)
3. Listen to some relaxing sounds (slow music or natural sounds like wind or waves)
4. Take up a hobby (anything you enjoy doing, hopefully constructive)
5. Have a goal to work toward
- Direction in your life helps you clear up most turmoil and handle anything that comes your way with greater ease
- Anything you encounter is either for or against your efforts toward that goal
6. Spend time with like-minded people
- When you are with people who you trust, who understand you and are willing to listen, you are more likely to talk to them and open up. Talking is a natural mechanism that relieves stress. For some reason, talking about your problems makes it easier to deal with them.
- Being in the company of friends will make you more likely to be in a good vibe with them. Social vibing is another human mechanism that causes people to feel good. Having fun and laughing always make you feel better. When you feel good, all your stresses go away.
7. Express creativity as much as possible
- Some examples: painting, writing, designing, sculpting, problem solving, building, models
8. Self-Improvement
- Develop a new skill. Learn to do something new. Find out how to do something better. Your improved value and ability, and most importantly your sense of accomplishment will make you feel good. When you feel good, your stresses seem to go away.
9. Help Others
- Giving is actually a selfish thing. When you donate to someone else, you are doing it because you feel good when you do. Therefore, you give so that you would feel good. This is the only time when you will hear me say that you should be as selfish as you like.
- Some of the ways you can help others: solving problems, fixing stuff, teaching, public service, become a firefighter, start a charity, organize a service group to address your community's issues and needs, cheer up lonely people, put something interesting into someone else's life, tutor or mentor someone for free, and the very best way to help others is by supporting my website! For ideas of how you can help, check out the contributions page of RarelyPublished.com
10. Get Laid
(this one should be self-explanatory, but since they don't teach you this in school, do some research online and buy a dating ebook. For guys, make sure you check out David Deangelo's "Double Your Dating". For ladies, if you need help here, then you're probably a b*tch or out of shape. Exercise and friendlier behavior may help and if you need style tips, find the prettiest dressed woman you know, and invite her to go clothes-shopping with you.)
11. Do some cleaning
- When you're cleaning, first of all, you're improving your life quality. Next, and actually, more importantly, it is symbolic of getting your life straightened out. Why exactly it works, I don't know. It just does.
12. Start something
- Not only will the result of your labors give you pride, but it will be adding value to the earth as a whole, even if a small bit, its still more value than there was before you started. Just think, you are the one adding value to the world. You did it. It's your accomplishment. You did it!
13. Change of Attitude
- Everyone could use a positive outlook on life, one where you recognize the opportunities and make the best out of anything that doesn't go as planned. It's not living in a fantasy world. It's just making the best of what you've got. Always. It's not an activity you do for once or twice a day. It's all in how you look at life. If this is something you're interested in and want more details on, send me an email (contact info on website).
- Don't whine or complain at all. Ever. COMPLAINING IS A GIANT CRAP MAGNET, AND CRAP DOESN'T TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. CRAP TRAVELS AT THE SPEED OF CRAP, AND THAT'S REALLY REALLY SLOW!! This is just a simple change you can do to make your frame of mind work for the better. That means doing something about your problems rather than whining about them.
- Remember the old saying "Coulda, shoulda, woulda..."? Well, if that's what you say, that's what you'll keep saying about yourself. Change you're frame of mind by not using those words in your vocabulary. Never regret the past. Learn from it and move forward. Replace the words "could", "would", and "should" (life happened to me attitude) with "can" and "will" (I control my life attitude). So next time you catch yourself using any of the three regret words, stop, and rephrase yourself with a can-do frame of mind.
14. Relax
- Un-tense your muscles (imagine all of them loosening from head to toe, one area at a time)
- Let go. There will always be more where that came from. Clinging on to something always makes you tense. Unless your life is directly at stake, attachment will probably increase your stress. This is fixed by letting go.
- Don't try to control anything but yourself
- Treat your "Chicken-Little-OMFG-The-Sky-Is-Falling Syndrome" (aka an exaggerated sense of danger/importance in areas outside of true life-or-death situations)
- Clear your mind
- Feel good (smile!)
About the Author:
Author of Explode Your Memory - A Total Manual to Memory Mastery, Duke Xenner runs a website devoted to personal development & life improvement. Be sure to check out his website for more cool resources: www.RarelyPublished.com - Personal Development & Life Improvement Portal
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